SaiTruth

My journey with Shirdi Saibaba

What do you do fear or love?

Saibaba loves you

We all are aquainted with fear from an early age.

Every day these thoughts keep jumping in our mind…
What if I get corona? What if I couldn’t get salary? What if I loose my job?
What if I fail?
He may break my heart!
I will be left alone!!
Are my kids safe?
What about my future?

It seems like we live in a world of fear.
Fear and worry go hand in hand.. together enjoying the big party of havoc they create in our mind.
Have you ever wondered why do we fear so much??
(I know you are busy in other important things ,so I am doing this part for you.. wondering😜)

Fear has been a part of survival instinct as you know we have evolved from animals.
It is needed till a certain age of maturity.
But till then.. it had grown so strong that we don’t even realise we are giving so much of our energy to fear.
 
“Fear is extremely contagious and powerful.”
You tell a person to be afraid of something… they will not only receive it for themselves but will keep your experience on reminder for future generations also.It explains it spreads like infectious diseases.

“CONTAGIOUS“
Sometimes fear disguises as “concern”.
My mom used to say “don’t be out in the rain, you might catch a cold”
So I left going in rain.
And a few years later I found myself advicing this to my nephew.
You see how they become habits.
Now the POWERFUL part ..
What you believe will surely manifest be it negative or positive.

If you put so much energy.. believing something bad might happen ,it will not stay a thought forever.It will be your reality.
My mom always warned me “Don’t trim your nails on tuesdays.Its not “shubh”(auspicious)”
I obeyed her.

Once I dared to do it..still the mind was saying “stop, you might get hurt”
And lo! I cut my skin accidentally and blood oozed out.
“See ,what did your mom tell you.Still you disobeyed.Now, God punished you this way.”
My fear manifested into reality.
 
Our minds were customised to think a certain way by the people around us when our minds were just “their minds”.
Teachers created fear in students’s minds so that they can study .
Parents created fear so that their kid doesn’t disobey or harm himself.
Friends created fear to just enjoy or bully.
They were doing it as a continuation of their collected impressions from the world.
In simple words they were trying to project their fears on to you.
They were fearful so they asked  you to be afraid too.
We never dare to explore the truth as fear is so powerful ..it keeps us bounded and paralysed.
Let us now get to the part ..about fear of God.
Are you God fearing or God loving?
I might have told you 1 year back ..
“Ohh yah I am God loving definitely “
That’s because we can’t see the actual intention behind doing certain things or rituals so we call it “love”.

Rituals have a beautiful spiritual significance but over the ages the significance was lost and habits remained.
Why? Because fear is contagious and powerful .
It means rituals lost the “love” part from them and “fear” took its place.

There are people who do what they do with all their love for God.But there are more who do it out of fear.

I am somewhere in transition maybe.🙃
I was thrown indications again and again untill I submitted my fear to Saibaba.

SAIBABA’S HINTS
 
Once (6 years back) my brother picked me up from somewhere. While we were coming back to home ,he stopped the car in front of a temple.
I was having menses that day and he asked me to come with him.
I said “I can’t bro”
He understood the reason ..but said “you know these superstitions were started for some other reasons.. leave them ,you are an intellectual girl”
“Yah I know but I don’t know why I can’t .I have this fear…” and I couldn’t explain it further.

“Ok, its ok.When you feel comfortable.”
And he went into the temple leaving me in the car.
Sitting alone in the car,I was recalling all the incidents happened to me earlier.

How many times I just forgot I had menses going on and I touched my home mandir and gone to a nearby temple too.

I felt so bad everytime I screwed up that I cried asking for forgiveness from God.

But now Sai has come in my life and I felt some truths lie beyond my vision of reality.
So,I questioned Saibaba quietly “what is the truth baba?”

He didn’t answer. (or I couldn’t listen)
Years passed by.. my fear was the same.
Trust in Saibaba was growing further.

Baba Sai’s love couldn’t let me be away from him even for a second.

I know he is within me but I was not that spiritually developed to feel him as me.
(With each passing day ,I feel  I am always at the beginning)
So I needed him in a different form ..a book ..a picture ..a locket.
I kept him with me in a locket .
This particular  fear started loosing its grip when Sai established in my heart that he is not concerned with my body.He connects to my soul.(through dreams)

I never removed that locket from my neck.

My sister told me “to remove the locket” as its not good to touch such “pure things” while we are “impure”.
Fear.. being so powerful.. tried to grip me with more force.It became successful..
I removed the locket.

But I felt uneasy doing that and I couldn’t stay like that every month.
So,I was back to wearing it all the time.
And I explained to myself” Sai is not God but a guru so its ok if I touch him in that time.”
Again few years elapsed.

Time made me more anxious than before.. I needed answers now..
I was looking for someone who could explain me how really my God was.

I was uneasy believing in a God who does practice untouchability himself but tells the world not to do it.

I was uneasy to keep Sai close and other forms of God at distance when Baba himself made me experience that they all are one.

Mostly I no longer could live in the fear of me being so “polluted ” that I can’t even take their name ..those who held me up everytime in form of Shri hanuman ..sometimes as Ganesh ji ..many times as krishna.. as durga maa too.
So, I decided for myself.

Saibaba loves you alot
 
ITS YOUR CHOICE… ALWAYS.

When something stirs up anxiety for your long held beliefs…
● you can discard it
● you can explore
Its your choice.
We look for advices or theories we want to hear so that we don’t have to dare to overcome our so powerful fear.

Like, I was adviced both ways ..
Brother said” leave these superstitions”.
Sister said “its reality, not superstition,you should be cautious with God”.

And I took the fearful advice from sister as it supported my default belief “its inauspicious”

Let us go into a flasback from my 11 year old me..

I remember..I heard once ” some kid died on the spot when he came in front of a speeding truck.”
I became so fearful just by hearing it that I ran away so fast, panicking,everytime I saw a big vehicle coming on the road.
I felt afraid to go for a walk with my parents.
I closed my eyes whenever I found some truck behind my dad’s scooter, while going to school.
This became a habit.(for a few weeks)

Once a girl was playing with me, I shouted “runnn”  when I saw a truck on the road in front of my home..(while I was far from it in my garden😂)
I ran inside my home but she stayed there unaffected playing as before.
(I could see… she was not at all anxious about it)

I was hurt ..why didn’t she run when I asked her to ?
In a mature way I was asking “why she didn’t fear what I fear?”
That day she made me realise it was my choice to run or not.
Trucks can kill me but not inside my house .
I should be cautious out on the road but not so fearful that I stop living (playing) .
You must be surprised to know I used to think so much right from the starting.It means I had “weirdness” as my foundation.🤣
I didn’t know it was Sai’s voice talking to me everytime I left his path.
And this childhood realisation was much better understood now.

It is simple… do what you do..also the rituals to God if you do them for love.
Not for fear.
If you do it with love then only you are actually worshipping God.
Otherwise you are worshipping fear.

If my words don’t inspire you at all ,its ok.

But I am addressing those who are curious and open enough to consider other possibilities, and just finding someone to look for advice like I was.
Do explore before you” recieve a statement” to the level of belief.
It applies on my statements too.
Its always your choice.
You can watch a beautiful episode from “shri krishna” when he had to lift up the govardhan (the small mountain in mathura) to protect his people from Lord Indra’s wrath.
It will change your perception about the image of true God.(skip to 3:40 minutes)
 
Its so hard to overcome fear believe me ..it is.. but when Sai is with you he will do anything to remove away the false beliefs.
My fear keeps coming back.. everytime weaker than before..but Saibaba keeps clearing the doubts again and again.

Don’t do something if you think you have to do things because one person told you so , whom you obviously trust so much.

But everyone is imperfect ,they may have that perception from their past conditionings.

Its the same what happens to people who go insane and do anything in name of “love for God” as some religious person told them so.

Its not love its either ego ,or fear that they are succumbing to.
I didn’t accept the truth untill Saibaba made me strong enough.Atlast we did it.
I can summarise my journey with Sai in overcoming fear of God in a small dialogue form..
He developed insight that I was doing it out of fear not love ,what I thought I was.
I asked “I am not hurting anyone with this belief Saibaba ,then why do I need to change it?”
Sai said “the now terrorists were people someday.. who had a single drop of fear once in their heart.
They thought its ok atleast they are not hurting anyone.
The fear reached to such a peak that it was being disguised as love now.
You let fear to stay inside you ..its like a black hole it sucks in every kind of positivity and it keeps getting larger and larger .And one day you won’t even recognise what you turned into”

“Sai I still don’t have the courage to do it.
What will people say?
Why didn’t you tell me all this earlier ..dropped some hints maybe.”
“You were not ready ..I did give hints ..remember your brother ?..how cool he was about it.And he asked you to let it go.

And about what will people say?
 Decide your priority child..why to fear people who are themselves searching for love in you.
They said things as I wanted you to think both ways..but your fear allowed you to obey just one kind of people.”

“Just one more hint please last time.”

“As you wish.. but this time you have to do something on your own ..I will give you the push you need.”

Well you know what happened then ,I got the push .(through my husband’s insight)

I skipped taking precautions during menses time.
But then I thought why to perform any ritual at all as they are nothing but physical activities.

So, I left doing everything (even lighting a lamp) because I thought its better not to do anything at all.
Sai again told me “Do the same things with love as your intention instead of doing nothing.
If you do nothing to avoid doing things out of fear ..you are again harbouring fear.This body is a very useful tool to get to me.You know you cannot connect to me with your soul if initially you don’t take help of these rituals and physical body.”
Got another lesson “I can continue doing rituals with love instead of fear.”
Then..I started explaining myself to people who were still doing it in fear and went off the limits.
Sai again twisted my ear “how hard it was for you to accept the truth..remember? Just say your truth but don’t overwhelm them with it.”
“If you have to force them to do something ..its like “YOU ARE IMPOSING FEAR FOR REMOVING FEAR “
 
I understood its just love which can drive away fear .So I left being pushy and judgemental.

I forgave myself to “not listen to Sai earlier” as my anger on my “past self” was manifesting as ego.And I was criticising people who resonated with my past trait.
Sai – “If someone asks about it ..tell them your truth ,but you don’t have to use force to make them understand, sometimes simple prayers do better than words.”
I learnt the power of prayer again.
I prayed.. my sister changed totally.(after she did her research on this theory)

I watched her struggle to overcome the fear too and it was beautiful.😊
I guess my brother prayed for me to realise the truth ,that day.
I can mention so many videos and books if you want to remove this fear but its no use if you are not ready to “receive”,like I was not someday in past.
I might still be wrong but Saibaba made me trust him so much that even if I screw up again he will definitely set me on the right path.
And we learn from our mistakes right!
So, its ok .
Its all ok the” past me”.. “present me”.

Fear was necessary to make me work untill I be upgraded to this level where I work for love.

Do share your experiences if you have gone through any kind of transformation in your thoughts.
 (I respect all people as I now know I would have done exactly what they do provided the past conditioing was the same)

These fearful beliefs are kind of thorns inside our souls ..we have kept them inside for so long that they feels like a part of us and any doctor(message from sai) who urges you to go for a surgery to let it out ..you resist…to avoid the pain it may cause.What we forget is these thorns are doing more harm than good inside us.

Faith and love of God casts out fear

 

Faith is antidote

 
As long as I felt you have to have faith in yourself ..in Sai or a person who directs you towards positivity.

One of my recent friends mentioned that she has doubts about this concept of not visiting temple in menses and she half ashamed told me that she was feeling so impatient to meet Radha Rani that she forgot everything and couldn’t stop herself from visiting the temple.
(In barsana)
I think she didn’t realise how beautifully she told me what I needed to hear ..getting so mad in his/her (God/Goddess) love that we can’t focus on anything else..its the whole point.

She didn’t knew me much, so she was afraid I might say “no you were wrong doing that”
I cleared her doubts from my side but left the rest on baba as I know my words stay just words .His words become realisations.
Fear will never go away if you don’t dare yourself to do what it proposes you not to.

My fear of darkness..
Baba made me sit for meditation early morning at 4 am on the terrace.yah its so lonely and dark at that time🙄
But I felt more confident and less fearful.
As they say “dar k age jeet hai”.
I still fear dark but it can’t stop me from doing my work anymore as I believe Saibaba is beside me.
 
Its like systematic desensitisation ..you expose youself to the fearful stimuli and act normal (therapy in psychiatry for phobia)
I told you science and spirituality go hand in hand … everything is interlinked.
(Psychology makes it easier…
If you know how your body works you might be better in directing it towards balance..
Same goes with mind )

If you have fear of failure..or you fear to love again

You must see the situation
through this perception.

We will talk about fear in other areas of life some other day.Its such a vast topic.

Remember Baba will always help you out, if you really want to see the truth.

And yes you can visit my post 👉 Shri Hanuman :demolisher of fear .It has power beyond our imagination.

You can contact me and email me your experiences.I will post them in my articles.🙂

Ok..will meet you with the  review on SAIBABA IS STILL ALIVE book.

Keep smiling 😊
Stay safe
Sai blessings
Om sairam😇

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4 responses to “What do you do fear or love?”

  1. Applying logic to ritual based on past and not present can tell us why rituals or customs started and why many of them appears so full of crap todayJai sainath may he help us all in walking on path of love and not fear

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  3. Let me give an example on how to apply logicThere is a ritual of applying butter on feets of those who come back from haridwar after performing last rites of dear onesIf u look it today we feel like what crap is this, why are these people applying butter but look 1000 years back when there was negligible means of transport. People used to travel by foot, so when they used to go performing last rites, their feet usually picks up lot of injury and much more Butter was applied to help heal that feet but modern day with means of transport this ritual has been outdated and still we continued it as no one wants to do anything different from set norms and customs even if that means stupidity

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