Shirdi Sai has been the light in my life ..when I was left with no hope wheresoever.
I always talk about him ..not because I want to tell people how much he helps me.
(He loves all his devotees ❤️)
..but because I really went through situations which seemed out of control and felt like hell and no one could do anything about it..
..no one could help me and he came out of no where and rescued me like an angel.
I know how it feels to be in that dark gloomy phase ..and I realise that you and me are just nothing..and only he can help people who are going through this much darkness.
And being there ..it became my habit to ask sai to help people as he helped me ..
..because I won’t ever want anyone to feel the things I felt.
I never want anyone to suffer ..to live hopelessly.
I never want them to die inside ..daily.
I never want to see them falling apart ..or drowning in depression.
The First Sai dream
I recall an incident when I was feeling too much depressed ..I had my first break up and it hurt soo much.
I took that guy as my future husband😅..yah it feels stupid now but I trusted him blindly and it felt like it was all useless..for nothing.
He said he was not ready for such decisions as he needed to make his career.
I respected his decision ..I respected him as a person..though it felt like he cheated me..as I was much serious for my career too and he was telling me that he is leaving me for career.🤔
Baba made me forgive him sometime back..but what I felt that year was way too much.
I was away from home for PMT coaching..it was my second chance.. to get into MBBS and it was October when this happened.
I becamea a zombie.. no need to sleep or talk …but the pain I felt was unimaginable…just opposite to being a zombie.
I tried to study and not think ..but the more I tried the more I sank into a pit of negativity.
I ate few bites to tell my mom that I ate (on phone)..I slept but couldn’t ..still just layed in the bed.
The area of “heart” literally ached like the hurt I felt inside was materialising as a knife and stabbing it again and again.
My friend tried everything to get me out of this zoning out ..but she couldn’t…or maybe she did.
One day, after February passed (after wasting almost 5 months in this phase), I felt I needed to change my lifestyle.
My friend helped me alot ..she got me into a hostel with her where we could not use any mobile phone so that I don’t try calling him in desperation.
Now it was just Sai and me.. I lit Diya twice a day and prayed to him to take care of me,my friend and him too.
I studied as much as I could.
I put my issue into “think about it later” box .
From where this strength came ..I still wonder.
It was Baba and prayers of my friend and my family maybe.
The day I got into hostel I closed my eyes and my grandmother’s face flashed in front of my eyes (she left us when I was in 11th standard) ..
..like she was saying to me “how can you be so weak darling ..get up ..it’s in your hands ..to make a change ..cut off those who feel like a hurdle.”
I remember I used to collapse in between ..break out into tears and they won’t stop for a few hours.
That was when Baba first came in my dream..
He looked so furious and shouted out “Mai us ladke ko teri zindagi barbad nhi Karne dunga!”
(“I won’t let that boy ruin your life!”)
I was surprised.. “does Baba care for me soo much?”
but was in a fix as to why he was shouting at the boy as I thought I was at fault ..to not clear my intentions of a lifelong relationship to him earlier.
But I felt relieved atleast Baba was with me..as I couldn’t tell all this to anyone at my home.
And now.. I know my life would have been in pieces if Baba didn’t made me so strong then.
Sai did.. what he promised.
When the result of All India PMT came out.. just before that, I saw Baba in a dream ..so I thought it’s a positive signal ..but my rank was not good enough.
I cried alot.. until I knew I was through ..I got selected into MBBS through Rajasthan PMT.
I don’t know if what I studied or my hard work was enough for what I got.
I always feel I got more than I deserved.
Now..I have a beautiful life partner too.
Baba Sai is our destiny
Sai has made each step of my life so much better that I can’t ever thank him enough..even if I live each moment for him.
I do what I do for him ..
for people to feel that they are safe when he is there ..
..be it some situation or some people who are hurting you ..it will be over soon and Baba is with you alwaysssss…
And he won’t let you fall ever ..you may fail ..you may be hurt.. what pleasure it gives him ..no dear.. it gives him pain ..alot of pain when we can’t see his love for us.. in those dark nights.
When we think we are bind to our destiny.
Why think of the destiny! when he is waiting here to be our destiny ..to be our everything.
He can literally change your destiny if you let him ..just say Baba please help me out ..make my life better ..
..and do what you can do with all your strength and he will definitely bless you with “tathastu”.
And you will be telling your story to others becoming a Sai light for them.💖
You can go through the post about the origin of this blog 👉 Perfection is an illusion .
I like to hear this song as its lyrics exactly say what I feel for Sai ..Beautiful life.
May you be blessed with a peaceful life with Sai.
Om sairam 😇