Hello sai friends..
I know my people might find it difficult to see myself changing everyday.
I myself feel like I am a new me in every few days.🤭
But trust me these changes are not an apple pie.
(Yes.. because they are chocopie😋 with Baba Sai besides you.)
It’s hard to accept a change
Have you wondered why do we feel bad if we have to change??
I have and I got three interlinked answers.
1.We have subconscious conditioning that..
“We learn new things till we reach 20s ..after that we don’t need to learn.”
(Conditioning means ..a thought again and again presented to our conscious mind that it becomes a deep belief within our subconscious.)
I am not talking about learning physical things like driving a car or playing a guitar..but about learning emotional maturity.. new beliefs ..new perceptions.
And that’s why we call children “stupid” as they are still learning and we think we have already learnt what they are still learning.
We enjoy that dialogue from Salman khan’s movie alot in our lives “Jis school me tum abhi padhre ho ..usme Mai principal rah chuka.”
But again ..I am recalled by Sai that I’m still learning and I am much far from the truth and “far is far” be it 100 yards or 100 miles.
So,everyone is immature including me.
Now even if we accept that we are never mature ..why it still feels like a new concept is killing us and we find ways to avoid to see the new truth.
So,here comes the second answer..
2.Because we attach “a truth/concept” to our existence ..so much ..that it doesn’t stay just an aspect of me but it becomes me.
But it shouldn’t be ..if you want to live a happy life.. just remember..
your experience ..your feelings were all valid ..what you lived in that moment was yes a reality of yours.. but it was not you.
We feel bad because the new truth might seem like it’s punching you with “what you felt in past was all wrong.Your experience was worthless.”
You may live a truth so passionately and in the end it might feel like it was a lie.
Doesn’t it happen in our relations too.
I loved somebody soo much only to find that my love became garbage.😅
You felt good in past and now it’s gone.. doesn’t mean you have to feel bad for feeling good in past or trusting someone.
And talking about a new concept..
Suppose.. someone is telling you that they love Vicky Kaushal (a new concept) and you love Rajesh khanna (an older concept) ..it doesn’t mean you have to feel low as you love an actor (concept) of older times.
It simply means you should give the new actor a chance..why??
Because “in present scenario” he is an actor…and your life and people around you are offering you the “newer concept”..so be open and explore.
It won’t mean what you enjoyed earlier was wrong.
Now.. here comes the third answer which connects it all.
3.A message or a concept is for a time being not forever.
We were locked down this year because of Corona ..so it was alright.
But if government announces lock down every year.. it will be “absurd” wouldn’t it be??
And the basis of this decision being ..”because we did it last year too.”
(That’s what we are doing with some rituals.)
So ..a message or a concept or a ritual anything you can relate to ..has come in your life for a time being not forever.
It will change and keep changing.
A message of Saibaba is valid till we get another message which might seem contradictory to the first one..
but here the key is.. “devotion” to your guru (and not to just one message of his).
And it will give you the power to open the lock of your “resistance to change.”
Our life is a building with infinite storeys ..you have to live at each storey ..enjoy there and move on to the next when you are called to do so.
But we get stuck on a single storey far too long because we feel that.. “that storey is our world” and we can survive just there.
You climbed on to the next storey need not imply that you did not enjoyed the last storey..or it was wrong.
As all those storeys are making an important contribution to your building.
You climbed on to the first floor…doesn’t mean the ground floor has to collapse.
I might be going over your head so.. I’m gonna give you my example how Sai taught me this.
My boyfriend concept changed
I was in 8th class ..I felt I hate “boy friend concept” and I was too critical when people talked about their crush to me.
This was my reality and I was all ok till I found myself, in 11th standard, having a crush on one of my classmates.
What now?? I was too ashamed as now I felt my own reality changed suddenly ..I’m being a hypocrite.
But it need not be like this..nobody judged me but me myself.
Then, I got married after MBBS to my boyfriend.
So in a way..I am living opposite to what I experienced in 8th class.
In this case..I could accept my new reality on a basis of the conditioning that I was stupid till 11th class.
But.. after I reached mid 20s.. I found myself rigid..I was bound to the belief that we learn as a kid only..after that we become mature.
Here again ..Sai was an eye opener for me..
“You are not those concepts or those feelings you had.
You are just an observer of these things.
They will stay for as much time as they have to but when it’s time to say goodbye just let them go.
As saying goodbye to your old self isn’t your end dear ..it’s just the end of a phase..and a new beginning.”
(the ground floor doesn’t have to collapse)
And what you experienced was not a lie ..it was a perception ..now since you have got a better perception accept it and apply it till it be replaced by another one.
See.. there is no end to these changes how old you become physically..
When you visualise each experience of yours as a passing phase you won’t be stuck to a single concept or fear people having a different perception than yours.
.. because the new perception will mostly come from people.
(Sai is in everyone)
They have the staircase you should use to climb up the next storey.
For that keep in mind ..
We are never mature ..🤭 we are always a fool.
So,start looking at the events occurring around you as messages for you.
(Yes.. your everyday life gives you so many signs.)
My concept of…”Reiki is forever for me”
I started reiki ..I felt energised.
For one whole year.. I enjoyed reiki.
Then I found a video of sadguru which had the topic “why not to do reiki?”
I am honestly telling you.. I felt so terrified..because now I have attached my existence to reiki so much that I felt if someone tells me it’s wrong to do reiki ..I will fall apart.
So, I avoided that video hehe.
You know you are stuck at one storey when you fear listening to people with a different perception than yours.
You give any excuse for you being right to be stuck to that concept.🤭
(what I do all the time)
But because of insight.. I felt this sadguru’s message to be Baba’s message.
I kept praying to make it more clearer for me.
Some days later one of my close friends said the same thing that she isn’t finding reiki to be her path.
And this was the sign I needed.
I used reiki to move up and it definitely brought me closer to Sai ..it was not a lie but it was one of my phases.
And I need not bind my existence to it.
So, I am no more that much attached to it now.
I have to be a hypocrite again
Last year.. Baba showed me how hypocrite I was.
I noticed ..
I knew “I shouldn’t lie”.. still I lied to people.
I had clear morals of what to do and what not to do.. but strangely I ended up doing the opposite.. just because I felt too ashamed of my true self in front of people.
So,one whole year.. I tried my best to not live like a hypocrite to let people know what I really think.
Now my brother was telling me this.. from last few months ..”You don’t have to tell your truth everywhere ..as then people won’t accept you.”
I, whole my life, felt shut because I was a people pleaser.
I made an image for them to like me..accept me.
So this storey(of my building) of “showing who I am” and “trying not to be a hypocrite” was too hard to let go..as I was finally feeling freedom.
But he said..
“If they will start criticising you.. you won’t be able to go any further.
Sach me bhi jhuth Ka tadka hona chahiye.”
As my mind is too rigid to comprehend a message right away..I need time to understand and feel that it’s definitely from Sai.
I was still stuck at.. “I can’t live in hypocrisy ..that I think something and do something else only to please people.”
Baba made me realise a part of it as ” not to tell the truth when people are too hurt to see it.”
I wrote about it in the post👉 The orange sun and the green sun
But again I questioned ..
“Baba why should I hide my truth..am I wrong?
You only told me I shouldn’t fear people but love them and show them who I am..
If I start hiding my true self I will end up being a hypocrite .
It will be like I am going back to where I started.”
Some childhood flashback was revolving in my mind from last two days..
(it’s Sai’s way to make me realise a message by applying it on my past experiences)
How connected I felt to my brother..more than to anyone else in my family.. and I liked all the English songs he was a fan of ..I read all the books he read.
So, I ended up becoming a doctor as he became a doctor before me.
It was like I followed him because I trusted him.
And this feeling brought a new message of sai to me..
“It doesn’t matter what you say or how truthful you are ..people will like your words..like your truth..only if they like you..and they like you when you connect to them at some level.”
Now I knew what to do but how to do it as I was trying not to be a hypocrite.
If I need to connect to a person who is backbitching with me ..I need to listen to her ..but what I did now was to stop them when they start blaming people for their deeds.
And in this process they grow apart from me as I am not interested or connected to them any longer.
I prayed “Baba my mind will always be stuck in what is right and what is wrong but while I have you I don’t have to use my mind na!”
Yes ..when you are dedicated to a guru ..you don’t need to apply your mind everywhere.
Sometimes you will find it too hard to get a logic to something that Baba wants you to do
..until you surrender your thinking in his feet.
He will clear all your doubts once you surrender..not categorising concepts into good or bad.
Then.. Sai lended me on to a quote from an ancient spiritual teacher and poet Shams tabrizi and it felt like ..an answer to my doubt.
It said ..
“You have to live with the people in hypocrisy for them to stay happy with you.”
But it felt more of like a fact …
Not like it supported hypocrisy.
And the next moment my eyes met another quote..
…as if it was to complete the message for me.
It was from sadguru..
“If you care for people around you ,you must make yourself into a person they enjoy being with.”
Now the message became crystal clear.
I got the real meaning of advice from my brother ..as the words from my brother’s message “acceptance from people” got changed into “people being happy with me”.
As the former part was what I did already ..in my first 20 years.
So,hypocrisy isn’t so bad what I supposed it to be.
Just that I needed to change my intention behind it..
It’s not that ” I need to live in hypocrisy so that people can accept me” (it felt filled with a fearful intention)..
.. but “I need to live in hypocrisy to make people happy “(it has love as intention).
Intentions matter most.
Baba continued in my mind.. “Don’t be a hypocrite in your thoughts ..but you don’t need to tell them your truths..especially those which are not acceptable to them as they might not see it like you do.
Instead build trust initially ..grow love ..Do whatever it takes to let them feel fearless around you..and then.. when they have confirmed their trust in you , start showing them how you truly feel about something.”
“Oh my gosh ..isn’t it the way you lived with your false guru Jauhar Ali or with me..Baba?” I suddenly realised.
“Yes ..that’s the same thing darling.”
Still the implementation part is remaining and I honestly don’t have any idea how to start.
Sai hai na!!
I tend to avoid it but he enforces it again and again..
“The path to Sai goes through other people(beings)”.. as in my life mostly people bring messages for me to move on ..and nowadays I am finding myself not “climbing the stairs” but “taking the lift” with Saibaba’s grace..😄
(You can read it in my post Saibaba is our only saviour )
I pray we all find our purpose and live it.
I am excited about Guru Purnima tomorrow.
You can go through a post 8 things to do on guru purnima on starsai.com
If you don’t know who is Venkat read this 👉 108 lamps puja.
Tell me what you will do by writing to me here.
You can send pictures of some puja you’ll do.
I told you.. I’m doing 108 lamps puja but if you can’t ..light as many lamps as you can and yes light one in your heart too.❤️
If sai comes at your door in any form..don’t forget to feed him your love.🥰