Meditation again !

Yah, the title seems like a sequel to a movie😅..but it’s a kind of my reality today.I meditated for 1 hour yesterday ..after almost 2 months I think .And it ..just wow.

You can see the difference yourself.Just do it once and feel it.It’s amazing. 😍

I am gonna give you the details what I felt before and after it .. yes I noticed it quite easily as the difference in my level of seeing life actions emotions .. changed hugely just after an hour of looking towards the flame of the diya (earthern lamp), I lit in the small shrine , in my room.

I am not at all exaggerating but I felt like I have almost forgotten the bliss I lived in ..2 or 3 months ago..and suddenly it poured down on me again ..last night.🥰

I have been feeling like my life has become a mundane routine ..going to the hospital .. working there ..coming back .. indulging in net surfing ..sleeping and that’s it.Sai Baba gave me indications to study and play guitar ..also to dance ..but I feel like I lost the will to do anything.I am always tired mostly mentally .😅

I come back to my room and stay like this…🤭

Atlast tired of my tiredness..the supreme lazy girl like me sat down in front of him and asked for mercy.Its too heavy of a feeling I was living in.

I had noticed a change in me no..not just a single but a lot of changes.

When I came here ..joined my residency I was loving ..I was calm ..I chose love as a way of communication. My negative thoughts were much lesser. I preferred to help people over my own comfort.

And now after 2 months .. I am dull ..I don’t laugh much .. I don’t help people as much as I did before because I feel so tired and out of empathy .I sometimes shout at people too.

Just 2 months of ..fearful talks around me .. people hating people ..people fearing people ..two months of outside influences and I am like this … I lost almost 30% of what I gained through meditation for one long year.(yah I’m gonna publish my research about it 😄)

What a pathetic condition ..don’t you think. We come across so much much chaos much dirt much negativity around us that we can’t just go on and feel alive always.We ..all ..definitely need some purifier which works from within.

There is a serial ..named “Mere Sai” .I watch it regularly and through it came the message from Baba which lead me back to meditation .

From last few episodes , Baba was advicing a lady devotee to cleanse a pond’s water sprinkling udi into it.She goes into the pond and repeats this process for two or three days.But she feels that the water is not clarifying good results were visible.

Baba tells her ..” We can see pond has got so filthy child ..but there is a reason for everything..when you find the reason will be easier to clean it and bring it back to its previous state ”

After a few more days, when the water grew somewhat clearer she could see there was garbage in the base of the pond accumulated over time .And she pulled those things out and the pond became beautiful again ..pure and clean.

Saibaba then talks about our mind in the analogy using the pond as an example ..”Our mind is similar to this pond ..there are some emotions which get entry to the core ..and then make all of it impure and with time it gets filthier.”

“But Sai what should we do then ?”

“You can find out the reson behind that filth you found the garbage ..just pull it out of your mind … So that it can be brought back to calmness..purity .. again.”

It was an indirect message to the lady devotee as she was harbouring negative emotions and hatred for her sister-in- law .Baba was telling her solution for her mental peace.

Baba always used analogy ..he did not instruct anybody (still doesn’t) as it is .If he has to say something ..he will give you an analogy to make you understand it easily.

I can tell you symbols.. he uses in visions. He shows me butterfly when I am in a “transformation” phase . He shows “his hand in a blessing pose” when he wants to show me that “he is with me” .

He shows “me in darkness” when he wanna indicate that I’m gonna have a tough phase.He shows alot of symbols instead of communicating in direct words.

And analogy hits me directly into soul …even in childhood I was so attracted towards movies which indirectly taught such beautiful lessons of life.

I can recall the favourite most scene of my favourite movie Harry potter part 3 .. where he saw a light saving him ..but later on he finds out “it was him not his father behind that light” .How beautifully the author showed the deep lesson ..that “OUR HERO..OUR LIGHT IS WITHIN US” not somewhere outside.

We are one with the light !

So,I looked inside my pond (my mind) and I found out the garbage I was storing in my mind from the impressions my mind was making or the experiences I was getting from outside ..though most of this is unintentional..but still the filth keeps accumulating.

And the udi, that devotee sprinkled was my chanting “Sai Sai” which I do when I remember to do this , but it’s rarely wholehearted as my attention is not focussed on Sai completely during that chanting.. so this kind of chanting did not help alot.. as the deeper filth can resurface only when deeper work is done .

And that is meditation (chanting in silence) ..truly sitting in silence .I am talking about me.

It may be something different for someone else.But for me meditation works the best.


I got up from meditation ..and I felt so light .. much.. much alive then before.❤️

You know exactly how much baggage you were carrying ..only when the bag is lifted off of you suddenly .Really it felt like I was under something so heavy ..and then someone just took it off .

I could literally see baba’s statue getting darker ..and a faint shadow moving from me towards if he was taking away something dark from inside of me and absorbing it within him.

A flashback of all the “filth” revolved in my mind for a few seconds the criticism of people and situations, I did only to feel good ..the negativity I showed towards others ..the judgements I made about others.

During meditation..I felt like all this was leaving me ..and a fresh mind was coming in to existence.

Like a densely scribbled page in a notebook becoming clean after erasing all the previous writings.

I felt lesser fear ..lesser stress.I went on the night duty and I laughed after a long time ..laughed from my heart..on the silly jokes of the intern.😅

It’s beautiful really.I forgot the impact of such a simple process on me ..but Baba called me back.


You know what the problem is ..problem isn’t “we not finding enough time to meditate” .


You will be so surprised to know this simple fact written in scriptures ..and I read it in “the fakir” book..


You know what does this mean ..if you know you will be amazed.If you know how significant this truth is …

It simply means .. you can avoid sufferings by doing meditation can literally make pain feel less like pain by meditation .But , we are made ..and conditioned such that we feel struggle and pain is always necessary.

Struggle and pain is necessary upto that level ..that it doesn’t let you be lost in it.

Suffering is necessary untill it’s known that it’s not necessary anymore.

Eckhart tolle

How beautifully he said what I have been feeling.

If sufferings in your life have taught you compassion can move on to the next level.If meditation has become a way of your life.. trust me you don’t need to live in make you better.


Addictions are just the mirage that look (feel) like meditation!

I was wondering ..why do I eat so much in stress especially I crave chocolates ..cold coffee and all the junk food from whole wide world that I can have.I oversleep in stress ..I become phonaholic in stress.

I was not even concerned about these things in past ..but now I can see a pattern.

I choose some addictions avoid the pain of reality I am living in.

I get myself entertained through food , phone and sleep to forget that I am stressed.

Everyone does that until Saibaba shows you that you can’t live like this forever ..and when your addictions don’t give you the kick they used to give.When the food, sleep and phone can’t entertain you anymore.

You need more ..something much powerful than these shallow tools of peace and happiness .And then you find meditation.

Hehe, I might sound like a crazy person ..but it’s what I felt .And this time Baba made me choose meditation combat stress combat what I think is a suffering.

I will go through it feeling alive ..again.🤗

You can’t help yourself much can’t control your mind can’t change your perception when you are living in low frequency.It all seems too much. But, as you start meditation .. you move into higher frequency and you will find out that ..the people always talking so positively ..have a secret behind their smile..that secret is meditation.

Trust me if someone around is really calm and peaceful ..and (s)he doesn’t do meditation’s not that (s)he didn’t ever.It’s the impact of previous lifetimes ..that we can see in this life.

(S)he might have accumulated so much higher frequency already that (s)he can carry on without meditation, now.

So, I am back to it again ..because I am selfish .😋

Try it and see.. if you are selfish too😅

And yes ..keep smiling and spreading love until you feel empty..

And then do fill yourself up with the divine love.😇

You deserve it!!

I pray for you all to heal and live happily.

May Sai blesses us with the will to do good and be good.😊

You can check out this song I love 👇


It’s lyrics are fantastic ! How singer prays to lord Sai to carry him on the right path keep him away from he asks Baba to carry him after death..❤️

That’s all for today ..see you soon.😍

Stay safe ..stay blessed

Om Sairam ❤️

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