Hey guys I hope you are doing great with Baba on your side.😊
Nowadays , I feel like there are two layers of me .. one who gets angry , cries , shouts ..complains .. feels pain ..and alot more but there is one who is always in a constant state of bliss … One who feels thankful for each moment … One who prays for all ..inspite of any differences they may have with me.
I think I am getting my sainess back that somehow was missing a bit after I came here in pg and found such a bullying environment. No wonder so many suicides happen in post graduations too.
Thanks to the bitter words of my mom she used occasionally for me in her typical haryanavi accent.. .that I could survive here 😅.
That being said, baba Sai can never let us quit!
HOW I SAW PEOPLE WHO CHOSE TO QUIT
I was never sympathetic towards the people who tend to quit . I criticised and was influenced to see negatively as how can someone choose to quit life instead of choosing to ruin their problem.
I was not a stranger to the “how come they do this?” But maybe I was hating my own aspect .
I TRIED TO QUIT
Those were the days when I was trying to get into MBBS , preparing for Pmt (Pre medical test) . The coaching my dad got me enrolled was lost .. half of the teachers there left and it became a half sunk titanic .Anyone holding it was meant to drown. Some students left through life boats. But when I mentioned about this to my family , they did not pay any heed to it. Maybe they thought I was just giving excuses. I could not find strength to share my situation again to my parents or anyone else .
I started to spend my time in other things .. talking alot ..singing and doing everything to take my mind off of the impending doom I was going to face soon .
It was november maybe , I was loosing myself .. trying from June to study but can’t . My friends were the same . I saw my dream drowning away . That day I couldn’t hold it up..and tried to do something .. to quit and run away from my life. Though I failed miserably.
Sai had just entered my life … but I found myself asking him , why am I facing such things when I’m not at fault.
I was so tired , I have already shared the horrorful incident that happened there, with you.. it was the same year …I fell in a trap of a guy …the same year , I lost my concentration over studies , the same year. No one was there , whom I could openly share my mistakes ..my situation. Each night I had to lie to my family , when I said I’m studying well .
I felt pent up ..smothered and I could not do anything else .
The scar mark of the cut over my wrist can be seen even now. I laughed at myself , because I could not find enough strength to make a deep cut , that saved me ..but there were so many hesitant cuts ..my wrists made so many scabs.
SAI SAVED ME
Sai was new .. or should I say I was new at Sai devotion. But , he never failed to give me relief from my own scary thoughts. I found enough help , enough strength to continue… And though I was not happy , I felt at peace when I talked to God , complaining and asking for mercy.
I understood why people quit.. but not the importance of why not to quit.. at such a deeper level . Slowly Sai showed me , there is more to life than just what we see. There are cycles of birth -death and if we choose to quit at a life situation … We have to take birth again and have to face the same situation again in the next birth. It’s like you don’t have any other option .You have to go through the same exam again and again till you pass it..to move ahead . So, what use this running away from life will be.
I know , we don’t think spiritually when we are too tired ..and no one will try to think over this when that peak moment arises, but that’s the specificity of Saibaba …he alters your mind in such a way that you accept his words .. and automatically your mind reminds of his statements at the right time and you not only hear those words …but feel them and work upon them .. however absurd they may sound practically.
I hope you get the courage to face life as it is , I pray that you get enough help ..enough strength at the right time. I pray that you choose life over quitting. I pray that sai shows you …how important your existence is . I pray that you get to know who you are and what purpose you hold here.
When we give a meaning to others life .. we can never quit. I have felt , we all crave for a deeper meaning to life .. we crave that someone’s life changes positively because of us …we crave that we make a difference in this world ..and I pray that happens for you dear. Amen!
Goodnight sweet souls ❤️
Remember that Sai is always with you and you are worthy enough to live!!
He can do anything to make you believe .. believe that this life is so much smoother with him . All your problems will vanish away .. and you will be at peace ..doesn’t matter how ..but it will happen ..just have faith.
Nothing comes your way to make you weak .. situations come to make you stronger . Their purpose is to make you find yourself ..not to loose. The difficulties are meant to be overcome. The problems are there because they are meant to be solved . So, do your best and leave all your worries in his hands.
You are worthy enough to live!
Take care and keep smiling 😊 for your smile shows your gratitude towards sai ..towards life.
Om sairam 🙏