Om Sairam friends!
There have been so much going on in my mind from last few days. I feel like burning in anger the whole time. The anger is not just for recent events. But, the events from the past.
I have identified a pattern . As , I felt I had to keep silent in my childhood , I was the youngest , though I was loved by everyone but I was not trusted upon. And I did not share anything at home. There used to be times , when I faced certain things but I could not share it with anyone .. not even my friends. As I was terrified of loosing my sincere image. I was flawless in front of others and I tried so hard to maintain this image.
This trait gave rise to this pattern of myself being too loud now in adult When I can’t say things directly, I started to use phone as a medium. I wrote messages to persons I loved the most when they did something that hurt me . I messaged anything at all . My words were like burning sword . Really , I could not imagine how much anger and anguish I am storing . My pain would burn them.
I hurt my bro ..mom ..sister and many more . Also , I hurt my husband .
If someone reacts harshly to not so hurting act of yours , you can understand , they have been accumulating anger over so many days..months..or years.
What to do ?
I have written all articles ..with a solution to the problem we discussed.
Today, I leave it here , you find out what should be done.
Do I quit society ??
Do I meditate ??
Do I accept my mistakes and apologise ??
Should I do nothing and be calm and forget what I did??
Or Should I find a proper way to let my anger out ..like puncing a hit man “😂
May Sai show me the right direction.
I was listening to this song yesterday and these lines struck me ..fit my current situation.
“Je mere vch aeb na honde , tu bakshinda kenu !”
“जे मेरे विच ऐब न होन्दे , तू बख्शिन्दा कैनू !
(Rakhi menu chrana de kol)
And remember , whatever you do , if your intentions are pure and you regret it , there is nothing Sai can’t forgive.
Om Sairam 😇