Hello friends !! Om Sairam.I won’t say I was busy ..so I couldn’t write post from last 7 or 8 days.But yes I will tell you the truth ..hehe I grew lazy.😋
When you start taking your profession as an exhausting “duty” ..you find it very hard to keep your mind and soul in tune ..and your body healthy.I am getting into and out from these kind of phases.I am learning each day how not to fear professors …how not to escape the fear by being rude to parents of sick children.Shouting on them won’t do me any good.. I know this for sure.Still without sai every word he said ..I read.. gets faded away at that exact moment..where it should have been applied .
Last year of mine was fabulous in terms of Saibaba-time.I spent all my time with him ..I meditated ..I felt goosebumps.. I saw him moving in statues..I heard him in my sleep..and I had alot of spiritual soul drenching experiences with Baba.
But as this new phase of my life ..being a pediatrics first year (junior) resident seems to be quite different experience that I ever had .So, when my comfort expectations are not met ..I feel tired and I start taking this work of mine as “just work”.. in simple words I start working “from mind” not from my soul..which is the sole reason I was sent here.And then what happens to a “normal” human happens with me too.But mind you ..if you are a sai devotee ..you are not normal.In my eyes .. everyone of you has such a great strength within you ..an ocean of love so deep that you can never feel alone or low or tired..you can take as much power doses as you need.
Remember this ..your sole and soul purpose is to make people around you feel like “you are a blessing” .And it won’t feel bad when you are a light for others ..trust me it’s like you feel complete and much closer to your own self..your Saibaba.Do what you do ..be it a little act or daily routine things in love ..love yourself soo much that love flows through you ..overflowing towards others.And just like fairies ..leave some star dust wherever you go!
Though I was not able to maintain a balance ..I still stumble alot.But why worry when Baba is here.Honestly speaking , I was praying two days back .. saying “Sai I miss you alot.”
But Baba asked the right question ..”do you miss me or you miss the spiritual experiences and comfort you felt?” “Ohh I did not look at this from this point of view Baba”
“yes baby ..you miss that feeling and the comfort ..you can’t really miss me ..as I am within you ..I am you yourself child!”
I read a quote of Osho “meditation is a kind of luxury ..not everyone can afford.” And I took it as a sign that Baba snatched my treasure away by giving me a schedule with no dedicated time to meditation.I was thinking about this from a few days and last night Baba answered me..by reminding me the Jaya wahi Di’s experience.
She shared this in her video ..”I used to meditate for hours and feel so elated when I saw Baba live in front of me.. but when I started NGO work and roaming here and there doing whatever task Baba brought to me to light up humanity ..I was tired as hell and I missed Baba as I couldn’t talk to him like before .I asked..” Baba can’t I have that back?” And he answered “Don’t you know ..why are you doing this child? .. ” “For you Baba ..for children of yours ..” “Yes and …that phase of meditation prepared you for this..you can be mine forever after you pay all your debts ..and rightnow by being my flame ..you are clearing your karmas.So ..be happy that you got such a kind of task to pay your debt.You will feel alive by doing what you do.”
She also told ..how she will lie on bed in some hotel with swollen feet and her sister will tell her that “feet of Sai look swollen in their home’s Sai photo”.I can feel sai literally holding my hands and feet when I sleep .I feel like he is holding me and charging me up.
I was always focussed on passing a phase as I can ..but because of Baba I am more concerned about “the way I pass a phase” as he did tell me it will repeat itself if it’s not done with love.So, do what you do once ..fully with love and say it bye bye..hehe.
I am too much selfish ..I mean if sai puts these kind of concepts inside you ..you will do what I do ..with a selfish motive in your mind ..to be in Baba’s feet forever.What kind of anklet feels like an anklet if not tied to the beautiful feet of a dancer ..who makes it dance too ..and sing out loud in the lovely melody.
I pray for you all to stay healthy and happy ..and take your life as Baba gives you.Everything is different if you look at it from Sai’s eyes.And how to get baba’s eyes ..well just now I read his words.. “THOSE WHO ARE FORTUNATE AND WHOSE DEMERITS HAVE FINISHED TAKE TO MY WORSHIP.I don’t need any kind of paraphernalia either eight fold or sixteen fold.I rest there ..where there is full devotion. ..If you always say SAI SAI SAI.. I shall take you beyond the seven seas..BELIEVE IN THESE WORDS.”
I can see how fearful we feel ..of so many situations ..future and behaviour of others .. so we resort to hatred to save our so delicate hearts.If only we can get our hands on a strong shield called Shirdi Saibaba 😋 who not only saves your heart from hurt but saves so many other people from your hatred too.Ohh!! he is amazing❤️ .He is soo beautiful.I can fall in love with him infinite times..but feel incomplete and thirsty for his love more and more.
I hope my words bring happiness to your heart ..I pray baba’s words be my words .May we all give “Abhay daan ” to people around us.No need to donate or spend money in charity .. you just need to stay happily connected to all at such a level that they “love” you ..not “fear” you.You can easily guess how much I respect Sai ..and all this respect came from “loving him maniacally” and this love is nothing without his “unending love towards me”.
So, if I do something for this world ..I wish to be an expression of his pure love ..loving people as they are.I will expect respect but I don’t need it.I will expect appreciation but I definitely don’t need it.What I need is just Sai !🥰
Take your damaged heart out and hand it over to Baba ..I promise he will heal all your wounds.. there will still be some scars but they will be oozing love ..after Baba touches them.Yes he is magic ..he is love ..he is the rawest form of compassion …the purest bliss..the beautiful most feeling you ever had…your favourite most fragrance ..the sweetest tune flowing through you.
Goodnight and have a beautiful life ahead.Trust Sai more than you trust your mind..he is beyond all ..he knows best.
Apologies for typing mistakes.
Om Sairam ❤️🙏😊