Spirituality and the illusion!

Hey guys ..I hope you all are doing well wherever you are.I pray for you to stay safe with almighty’s blessing hand over you.😇

There are times when I thought “I am spiritual ” and I justified my desires .. my irritation by taking an excuse to “being spiritual” while the truth behind spirituality is quite different🤔.

I have read messages and quotes posted by “spiritual pages” supporting the same fact but don’t know why Saibaba always made me reject these kind of thoughts.I am no one to judge someone but still my truth remains different.

You will be thinking I am beating around the bush ..so now we will take an example and discuss.I want these posts be two way communication ..so please write to me what you feel about it 😊.

Let us discuss the “desire to stay alone” .. we need some alone time to rejuvenate ourselves and it’s not a crime to desire that.But , feeling irritated with people around us ..and then desiring to live alone is not “spirituality”.If you find your mind seeking spirituality to “avoid life” it’s not at all spirituality.Its just the opposite.

As per my experiences with Baba .. I have never realised this until Baba showed me the truth that all people who seem to be irritating be it my mom ..my friend or the maid ..the nurse ..the kid who laughed at me 😅 ..anyone ..and everyone ..is his form indeed.Before that I thought sai is living somewhere isolated and I want to do that too.But actually “living alone” is not our mind’s desire.. our mind wants to live with happy ..praising and caring people around us ..all the time.And this is impossible ..right.So, we choose spirituality to justify our desire to stay around happy people.

There are quotes telling .. deep and spiritual people have a few friends.. I felt the same, before I knew “true spirituality”.But now.. look at Sai ..he cares for everyone and he has so many devotees ..his friends ..does it not contradict this fact?

Yes, a person needing isolation is justified only if he wants to work upon himself..not to run away from life which is offered to him.Let me tell you my condition ..I know how much lines of my hand.. Baba changed to make me reach this stage ..becoming a pediatrician..but I am , or should I say , my mind is not satisfied here.It feels suffocation.I won’t tell you lies that I am so happy here ..because I know this happiness I am seeking is too an illusion.My mind will mostly have these kind of thoughts ..no matter what..until Baba blesses it to be dead forever.

Yes,true spirituality is when your mind dies altogether..till then everything is an illusion.Preferring isolation ..happy faces ..a few close people ..chocolates ..beautiful clothes ..whenever we “choose” something it’s a mind’s job ..and when mind comes into action ..I don’t think it’s spirituality.

My sister and me had a beautiful phase last year with all the meditative practices and feeling bliss reading spiritual books.. all the time .But then started the new phase ..to apply those “read words” into real life.And application can’t be done in isolation.God will provide you time to self reflect and feel blissful but in the practical exam you will face voices questioning your knowledge in a stressful manner.It depends on “our faith” to answer in a calm way or panic.

So, spiritual messages telling us to get away from “bad people” or telling you to have “less friends” .. or anything that makes “categories” of people are not something my heart tells me to believe.

The category “bad people” sounds so vague.. how can we define someone is bad🤔.Everyone is “bad” in someone’s eyes and “best” in someone else’s eyes.Its all about perception.Sai had a way to find best qualities in everyone and loved them so much that they conquered their mind ..even after that some people “disliked him”.

Believing “I am like this” or “she is like that” is in itself is “just belief”.When you feel bad because of someone’s behaviour .. I hope Baba reminds you ..that everyone is playing their part ..their tendency is to being rude ..but you don’t have to leave your tendency just to try to be equally rude to them. You are not a photocopy machine ..if you are spiritual ..you should be strong enough to have your mind and tendency aligned with Baba.

On the other hand .. spirituality is also not about being calm and showing off positivity all the time.You will have mood shifts and you may shout at someone ..also the “intention” to remain “good” in people’s eyes is far from being spiritual.My “good nature” was based on this earlier.I did not confront people just because I felt they will not like me after that.But Baba told me to be original.You need not shout but you definitely need to tell them how you feel .. about something.It doesn’t matter how they react .. if they care they will listen and work upon it ..maybe your perception is based on misunderstanding.So, it’s always better to tell ..not to keep it all inside ..so stuffed up that the day some thing triggers you ..the closet of your mind spills it out all at once..in the ugliest way possible .

So, in a way we can say ..intentions matter most.If you want to be spiritual ..you have reasons behind it.Your reasons matter alot..is it because you feel tired of the world? ..or is it because you don’t wanna face your circumstances? Or maybe it’s because you have felt enough and want inner peace.

There was an episode in “mere sai” where a couple visited Baba to get a solution to their dispute.The wife was terrified and angry as her husband has decided to “leave her ” because he announced “he wants Sanyas”.He told Baba ..how attracted he felt towards “hermit life” ..and he wanted to get away from this life because God was calling him.And God was the sole owner of his soul and body so he did not want to disobey his God.

Sai .. knew the actual intention and in conversation he made the husband tell the truth..and lastly he accepted ..he was fearful of “poverty” and as he had lost his job ..he was afraid of “responsibilities towards his family” ..so was choosing sanyas to get away.

Baba held his hand and calmed him .. “JUST A FEW MONTHS OF HARD WORK AND YOU WILL LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE DEAR.”You don’t want to run away from this experience .. you can never run away from this ..but if you face this with God’s name in your heart ..you will never have to suffer anymore.

I have used “baba’s name” to justify my acts ..my fears ..my arrogance and alot more.Baba never abandoned me.I still do this.I do what I mentioned above ..using spirituality to get away from “life” ..but again he brings me back to senses.As we discussed ..your mind can’t die overnight.It takes years of practice and meditation and a beautiful guru and dedication to him.So,what to do with the “living mind”…Just imagine the voices of mind to be “illusionary”.


Mind tells me “you are tired ..you do not want such life.”

And the voice of soul tells me “Everything is happening according to baba’s will..and when he had planned this for me ..it can’t be bad .”

The mind says ..”You are dying out of enthusiasm.” I feel exhausted once in a while.Though it’s just 1 and half month being in this job ..hehe but I already feel like a millennium had passed😅.But, voice of Sai tells me “ohh ..these late hours ..the eyes desiring sleep ..the body desiring rest but not getting it is in itself heavenly.” 🤭

It reminds me of the story of Baba where he told that his guru tied him with a rope hanging him upside down above a well filled with water..but even in this position ..because of his guru …he was feeling blessed.Likewise ..Baba manages my mind’s voices and clears away the clutter of fear.. worry and my beliefs.

My belief that meditation is “sitting in a place ..totally relaxed” has changed completely ..he taught me “meditation is when you can become LOVE itself in a moment.”

Meditation is when my mind tells me to vent out my anger on people because I am not getting rest ..so I should blame this on someone else ..I should pick someone to empty my frustration..but with Baba’s blessings.. I choose “love ” over hatred..I choose “happiness” over transferring my sadness to others.

Meditation is when .. my mind tells me to “hate those who behave rudely” but the voice of Sai gets even stronger and guides me saying “they are just playing their role in this drama of life.” You don’t hate a person .. just because he played some negative role in some drama.If you are spiritual ..you are concerned about soul not the body.And at soul level everyone is your well-wisher.

You don’t need to hate Jack Gleason for playing the rude dictator “king joffrey” in Game of thrones.

Meditation is when your mind says “don’t give so much..you will get hurt when you don’t get it back” ..but you still try to do best for others ..telling yourself in Sai’s words ..”YOU ARE DOING IT FOR LOVE ..NOT TO GET SOMETHING BACK.”

Meditation is when you choose to follow baba’s voice over your mind.When you become “love” .

I know it’s a long way but when Sai is here.. it’s ok .. whatever kind of experiences he want us to have .. all will be worthy .. we will be blessed always.😇


“Raham sai”

Light a diya and feel bliss ..I pray that Baba be that flashlight in our lives.. always guiding us to home.

You can check out this song ..“Lights will guide you home” by coldplay taken in the movie “Abominable” .This movie touched my soul.❤️

Keep smiling in the adversity too.

Baba is with you forever.🤗

Om Sairam ❤️

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