Its 25th and something is gonna change Sai

Hey friends .. you can call me a dreamer or a person who never wants to end on a negative note. I don’t want to but I hate the aspects of people who tell others that they are not enough .. or they are too small or too dumb or too ugly. In such situations my mind just demand one question from them ..”Are you even listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth?” 😑

I get sad ..and I cry too ..because sometimes situations seem so hopeless and alot of times this sadness comes from such hurtful words of others. But , these aspects of people kind of let me know that what should I NOT BECOME. As many times I have treated others the same way that I hated the most .But I have been at the receiving end too so i knew , I had to stop myself . So, thanks alot to those souls too who were hurtful but guiding.🙏

IT WAS MY DAY

I had a great 25th .. my birthday . 🤗Celebrated my b’day with my friends ..my husband and then my colleagues. I went to the pool first time in my life. Yah , I have a fear of water. I had a near drowning expereince during my honey moon in Goa. Since then this fear got doubled.🥴

So, here my friend told me to take a dip pinching my nose so this fear diminishes. After sometime , I got comfortable in the pool. I was doing this one thing ..taking support of the side wall floating my legs over the surface of the water. I wish , I can do this some day without taking the support .Need to learn swimming for that obviously.

(I wrote this above half on 25th . Rest post is written on 26th june. )

I had an online booked reiki attuning session today organised by SAIBISA Jaya wahi di.😍

If you want to know about her , you can watch videos on youtube related to SAIBISA or Jaya Wahi di.

IT WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT

In that attuning session , initially I felt my hands and feet numb like I do sometimes in my meditations.Next, I saw the scene of the swimming pool where I was floating with support from the side wall and my legs on the surface of water. I suddenly felt as if baba was telling me “Just feel like I am making you float like the last night ..and don’t panic by what will happen now.”🥰

I might have told you how my panic attacks feel like ! Much like I am going to some another world with no exit , like I am leaving (dying) my body soon and a fear of something strange overwhelms me. 🤯

Similar moment happened today in that session when I felt myself floating in the air ..not the whole body but the legs only, I felt nothing else but my heart beating faster and faster and still faster. The loud thumping of my heart scared me further and when it all became too much .. I started literally shouting out loudly ” Sai Sai Sai Sai ..”

I hoped that scary feeling stops but the intensity of that feeling increased and increased ..till I had to open my eyes to stop it.Now with eyes open , I could see my limbs but could not feel them.I felt shivering in my body .After a few seconds I heard voice of jaya di .. and I went back to normal then.

I don’t know what it was .. but I believe I have felt this same fear in my previous meditations ..of something unknown.. and it feels like a fear of loosing sense of my body. Do we have such fear?

Hehe , now that I think about it I can laugh. Sai whatever happens from this day , I want to be sincere towards you and love you soo much that it shows up in me ..my behaviour …my smile and my life. I want to make you proud and yes I am selfish so I wanna lie comfortably ..in the comfortable most place in this cosmos … your feet! 🙏

Meet you soon with more on Sai reiki . Om Sairam 😇❤

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