Om Sairam my beautiful souls!

I pray that you are doing good.

Well about me .. I have been getting intuition, or call it sai’s message , to write a post. So, doing the same.

Saibaba many a times sends me urges to write here but I postpone it or procrastinate due to some reasons that I have not addressed till now.

In fact there is nothing like we being lazy or procrastinating .. every aspect of your behaviour has some deep reason beneath it. Mostly it lies in your psyche that is built upon the past experiences you had , starting straight from the time you landed in the womb.

I am learning psychology and it had helped me alot to know myself deeply .I feel more and more compassionate towards myself as I can see a valid reason for me being me . And that provides me the courage to accept my shadows.

A branch of psychology merged with spirituality is called transpersonal psychology and I am very much interested in it. If you wanna know the reasons behind your behaviour patterns or thoughts , you can search Heidi priebe ( she has posted very helpful practically possible things to accept and change our certain aspects).

Knowing yourself will not only change your perspective towards yourself but also towards people around you .. also you will feel validated internally and will see the world from a new perspective.

I am very much resonating with this spiritual teacher .. Christina lopes . I radomly landed on to her youtube channel. She is so amazing like she is made for speaking and reinforcing the intuitive messages I hear in my mind , always.. I am not kidding .. that happens actually. 🙃

One of my intuitive message that she spoke about was ” treating ego as a well wisher, a friend”

( And no one else in my whole life ever said that.)

Once , I shared my thoughts with my healer friends that ” I feel I have to go through the ego, to achieve tranquility”. Most of the spiritual teachers, like my past self, criticise ego and blame it for everything ‘bad’ that happens through them and see their “ego self” as someone whom they should never accept.. in fact they teach to fight it. ( And there is nothing wrong in this view)

This is at times necessary, but recently I started to see ego as my friend and something that I have to accept and understand to rise above it. This came from within of course through my one and only Saibaba.

Sai once showed me a vision of bholenath with snake on his neck . I asked him something about ego and he gave me the answer through this vision. He said , you don’t have to discard or fight with the ego but adorn it like Shiva here adorns this snake.

I googled , what snake represents in Shiva’s picture and one of the picture said it represents the ego. ( Yah, I doubt my visions many times and that’s ok if that happens with you too.)

This started to happen 4 to 5 months back and I did whatever was necessary to understand her(ego). I let my ego rise.. and I saw a voice, whom I considered ego, kept telling me to express my anger and expectations if I demand something from people around me. And I did that ( rarely some spriritual teacher will tell you to express your demands, they will tell you to let it go ..to be humble and only focus on giving to others selflessly) .

But , If I looked closer , I came to know , I was not humble even when I was humble, I was pretending to be humble. So, I instead started to accept all the negative emotions also, when I was angry ,instead of suppressing it or telling myself that I have no right to be angry, I simply accepted I was angry and I showed people my true emotions. Ofcourse I tried to do that objectively still I am not perfect.. in fact far from it.

No one is perfect or ever can be .. So, let us move our focus from being perfect to being authentic(true)

And this lead me to solace. How?

Well not everyome was welcoming for this new version of mine. Some people just liked my “loving version”.

And that was totally ok, though it made me angry in the moment but I understood how they are behaving exactly like me.

I was not accepting earlier that I can be an angry,rude or demanding person , so were they doing the same with me.

So, I cut off from people .. many people with whom I did not resonate much anymore. Sometimes , while showing anger I hurt them as well as hurt myself too. But, my quest of knowing myself is more important than this hurt.

And they say na.. we have to bleed in practice.

I saw it as a practice of expressing emotions. Meanwhile psychology kept guiding me. As, in psychology and true spirituality , expression of emotions is the must. How to .. when to .. you gotta learn . And while learning that , you will definitely hurt people or hurt yourself.

So, be ready for that too.

My next posts will be around the psychology concepts I have read. And I will surely let you know some exercises for you to practice ,if you are interested you can do those.

Baba’s today’s message was about self knowledge that you read in the heading.

Knowing about yourself , you will make yourself much open to receive Sai. You will feel aware and at peace.

So, do you wanna know about yourself?

Its ok, if you don’t resonate with it. Maybe this is not the time for you.

But ,if you do .. first of all hats off to you .. much power to you

..you can go through the practice given below:

For next 1 or 2 days analyse your day and write how many times did you express your true emotions to people for whom those emotions arose inside you?

You don’t have to show your emotions or change anything at all at this stage. Just observe and write when did you resist telling what you feel and the reason behind it.

Also, it means telling the person with whom those emotions are related to. It doesn’t takes into account to tell your emotions to a third person ( which we do alot in fact )

To make it more clear , I will give an example :

For eg. I can express myself much openly to my husband and my friends but not at all to my parents.

So, its a 60% of expression for my husband. Out of 40% of unexpressed emotions , 20% of the times it is because I can manage them inside and process them on my own . While 20% go somewhere.. without my awareness. I mean I don’t even know about 20% when did they come and accumulate inside me or what happened to them..just don’t get to know.

And about parents there is just one dialogue ” They won’t understand ” going on in my psyche (and yet its just a belief not the whole truth) and when I go deeper in why , my mind brings me the scenes from past when they did not give a damn about my emotions. 🫠 (I now know why ? they were emotionally numb because they have developed dissociation that made them feel safer in their body as no one taught them that there might be a better way .. no wonder why they suffer from diseases now. Its sad but true.)

Did I just release my emotional baggage related to parents here and made it sound like intellectual stuff?

Ohh yah 🫨😲🤣

(Yes , your emotions get accumulated in your aura and your physical body .. why else we get diseases? Duhh) 😛

We will talk about which emotion gives rise to which disease in next posts. (Totally inspired from Louise hay)

So, this is a new version of me .. Saisangi 2.0

And this website will be a platform for me to share my knowledge as well as Sai experiences. So, stay tuned.

And let me know what you noted while you did that exercise. Congratulations if you did it. It really demands a certain level of self acceptance to be able to do that. While it’s totally ok if you don’t feel ready to do it. That also demands self acceptance that you are not ready yet.🙃

We will move onto the next step in next posts, most probably on thursday.

Till then keep expressing your emotions not just happy but all kind of emotions .. at the same time learning about more healthy ways to do that.

Each emotion looks good on you.😊😝😟😳😭😡😰🤗

And each emotion is a gift of Sai so let us accept it with inner cosmic smile.

It’s time we move from looking on things from a sheer black or white perception towards a more broader perception including all the shades of in between.. all the nuances.

(This word has been revolving in my mind nowadays .. nuances)

Om Sairam 😇