Ya Sai all my beautiful readers.

Have a blessed day and a beautiful life.

I have been off of whatsapp and insta from almost one month. My friends are calling me to ask “what happened”? 🫠

Actually, there was a mixture of emotions inside me. Initially I wanted to run away from people as I was no longer the past saisangi who can give immense energy to people around her without expecting anything in return. 😑

Yah , it makes me doubt sometimes .. am I growing in vibrations or going back ? Because according to most spiritual teachers feeling selfless and “giving selflessly” to people is a higher vibration than having expectations. Right?

But now I question my previous state, was I truly giving selflessly? Yes and No are the answers that I receive. Though in that point of time I felt easy and effortless while giving love and energy to them.. still it was not completely selfless all the time.

There is no higher or lower vibration ..all that is ..is vibration closer or farther from your goal.

You gotta see what is more resonant with your goal or purpose.

I find myself drifting away from the good and bad categorisation but I know one thing now ..that is :

There is nothing good or bad ..right or wrong just resonant or not resonant with you.

Though I might use the words good-bad, right-wrong to make it understandable as our vocabulary and words are limited but you will get the meaning is much deeper than these words.

Nowadays , my beliefs are changing on a lightening speed and I really feel uprooted and scared once everyday like someone is taking me on a rollercoaster ride. I feel less stable and fixed in life or shall I say in my older beliefs and existence.

Why scared?

Because our mind needs a fixed narrative or stability in its identity to feel sane and happy. It simply means our mind needs some fixed identity to rely on that doesn’t change so rapidly.. like I am a pediatrician ..I am a reiki healer .. I am a Sai devotee. And for me , from last few weeks its been just ” I am. ” I know I exist but I don’t know why do I exist. What is the purpose behind my existence. It sounds sad , I know. But, I feel mixed emotions.. from a dipping low “shame” to the highest of “peace”.

( Don’t tell me you did not read about emotional vibration chart , its given below )

In case you wanna see this emotional vibrations chart , here it is.

Nothing that comes beyond “I am” gives me that stable feeling that it used to give earlier . And just one more word that seems to be as stable as a mountain and gives me utmost peace in this phase of change is SAI.

You might look at me and will feel I am not changing at all .. but going totally opposite to it .. maybe I also call myself sometimes stuck! Why ? Because I am staying at home .. away from the world .. doing just a little chores daily and my practices . I don’t do reiki now ..I don’t practice pedia. I started my instagram channel ..I have dropped that too and gone offline. I don’t do anything at all. So, from 3D reality I seem to be stuck.🤔

You are actually never stuck even when you feel like!

But, beneath the surface I am seeing the deep changes happening inside me. I am a little aware of how my mind is changing .. how the concepts of it are changing. How resistance is dissolving towards life’s processes. How reiki is happening through me without me realising it .. how pedia is happening through me without me realising it. How I am used as an instrument of service for humanity without me realising it.

I am doing nothing but everything is happening through me.

I get glimpses of people who remember me and what they are thinking of me. And I feel connected to them even though I didn’t connect in the 3D world. I just feel so much connected to everybody in 5D that I feel no more energy inside me to connect to anyone in 3D.

When I put efforts in 3D life to connect , I feel drained and angry. So, I turn towards Sai.

I really don’t know what is the reality but that is what my mind and perceptions tell me for now.

What I know for sure is Sai is the reality that will never appear to be a lie in future ( what my other realities are appearing to become now).. be it in his beautiful pose he sat on the stone of Dwarkamai or be it in the form of a light with no name or form.😇

Sai will bring self acceptance

You might have read “self love is a must”. Now , what is exactly self love. Well, for different people it can be a different concept. But for me, who carries a heavy weight of past, self love is more about “self acceptance”.

Self acceptance of not just the present me, who I am rightnow, but that of who I was in the past also.🤗

You might hold pain and hurt inside for all the past versions of yours but at the same time you can hold the acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean your pain is not valid ,what you felt in past is not valid. It also doesn’t mean you give permission to people to do the same to you again or give permission to yourself to let that abuse or trauma happen again to you. Actually acceptance is quite the opposite.

You set proper boundaries out of love for yourself and others. Mind the words here .. You set boundaries not barriers.

Boundaries are the rules of engagement with people that you set for them as to give them an idea how you accept to be treated by them. (We will learn more later, how to set healthy boundaries)

And you can not set boundaries if you are living in an illusion like I used to live ( that I will jump straight onto being Sai if I meditate) .

Meaning, all of us who get interest in spirituality have very unrealistic expectation from ourself to become Sai in a day . Its ok to think like this and is a very good sign that you are progressing towards Sai. But, as you meditate and meditate and continue , you will find that there are alot of stairs to climb before that.

And the rules of saints .. teachings of saints are not as linear as they appear. Whatever they said .. we can interpret in a thousand ways . And this happens because we are at different levels of consciousness , I won’t say one is higher or lower to make anyone feel small but actually levels of vibrations do exist.

So, if Baba said “don’t gossip” , and you have been gossiping whole your life, you will try to stop it in one day. And that is literally not possible so you will go into guilt trip.

But, its not a feasible way to aproach any teaching.

What baba gave us, is a guidance that will prepare the foundation of change within you.. but Baba doesn’t tell you how you will do it exactly. Why so?

Because there exist a hundred ways to approach it and you gotta try those ways /techniques , till you reach your goal that is to stop gossiping.

For eg. When first time baba showed me in visions that I was surrounded with stool(feces) all around me, I couldn’t accept that baba was finding faults in me and that means baba thinks of me as a bad person.

So, I blamed people for gossiping with me. That time I had a very clean image of mine in my conscious mind and because what Baba told me was not in accordance to it , so for my mind to feel sane and my heart to feel safe , I had to find someone else who was making me gossip. (I chose to blame others for my action)

Later, partial acceptance came that yes , I was an active participant in the gossip and back bitching and I was doing it voluntarily. No one was making me do it. It ceratinly doesn’t mean I am a bad person. Now, as I acknowledged that I am doing it ,I found that I can change it too. We all know:

You can not change something unless you take its responsibility!

So, I first tried to stop gossiping , I had deep anger for the world but covered with some love for them. ( There are layers of emotions within us like layers of onion)

Later I saw and accepted that I do enjoy gossiping. Which in fact was a very hard thing to do at that time. As I related “enjoying gossip” with “being a very bad person”.

I accepted and sometime later he asked me to go deeper . To ask …Why?

This why can become enlightening only when it is questioned from a place of self acceptance and objectivity.

Meaning if you ask why so? from a place of feeling like a victim at the hands of the world or from a place inside you ready to criticise yourself back and forth ,you won’t reach anywhere but a more dark place.

(And that is absolutely ok if you enjoy darkness🙃 andhera kayam rahe!)

So, when you are able to see your emotions and actions as well as others actions objectively ( detached from your worth or value) you will truly be able to know the answer to “why.”

And these why when asked from such place will lead you towards more self acceptance.

Past need to be accepted not erased!

I might never know how deep your wounds of past are , but I do know that acceptance of past doesn’t have to nullify what you felt at that time.

Our mind tells us , we will be healed only if our past is erased because the pain we have felt , echoes so deep within us that nothing else seems to be the way to come out of it.

But , my darling soul , your past occurred exactly the same way it was meant to not because Sai/God/divine, whatever you call it, wanted to give you pain(we did really felt God is sadistic😅, right?) or see you unhappy but because he knows you will traverse towards your goal only if this experience is put into your awareness.

Our life on Earth is a school and we all came here to learn lessons and reach our goal. Our goals are different .. so are our lessons.

Like in a school , some students wanna be a doctor so they study science .. while others wanna be a C.A. so they take commerce. So is our case in our lives . We all have different goals and different books with different lessons. Like in a school we make friends to learn together and make it an enjoyable and easy stay, here we choose people around us to deliever us lessons and learn with us.

When anything happens between two people , be it love or fight , lesson is meant for both of them.

But similarly as in school , you can’t go on teaching lessons to your friends without learning it yourself first.

So, the best thing will be to focus on yourself first , to learn your own lesson first.

And the more the lessons are learnt related to that experience you had in past, the tinge of the pain you feel, will be lesser and lesser day by day.

I can’t even start to tell you , how many lessons unfold related to a single experience of past , for me each time I recall it in different phases of my life. So, I think these lessons and acceptance also comes in layers. You grow and you see the same situation from a different set of eyes and you find a new lesson to learn from it.. and a new kind of acceptance for your past and yourself.

And while this sounds mind boggling but it doesn’t have to be. All you gotta do is just focus on your peace( not happiness ).

Why not happiness be used as an indicator , we will discuss it later. ( So much for later🫣)

If you have exeperienced peace with Baba Sai directly ( not through someone else being the medium or channel) then you know how to gauge your progress towards your goal.

You just have to look inside and be honest about how peaceful you feel today . And if not ,then find the reaons why?

And those “why” shall be coming from a view of life from a distant and larger perspective. Then answer will itself bring the practically possible solutions to achieve that peace.

For peace is a inner state not something depending on outer aspects.

You don’t have to deny that you are angry or frustrated also you don’t have to set large goal .. that I can be peaceful only if I get 1 lakh rupees or become an astronaut.

( whatever ur life goal is in 3D)

I am not saying your goal of 3D are not one with 5D . I am not saying that your goal fulfillment won’t bring peace. ( We will discuss about it in next posts.. what is 3D and 5D) But I am saying that your peace in the present moment doesn’t depend on outer things or people. And for progress you have to care about the present situation not some hypothetical moment in future.

You can still be peaceful if you don’t have money in now , you can still be peaceful if you don’t have a degree in your hand.

How?

If you know what you have to do in the next moment that will bring you closer to your goal. That “next effort” will give you the equal bliss that you think , you can only have when you will achieve your goal.

This is what I call as NEXT BEST STEP.

Stay tuned to my posts if you wanna learn about all this stuff .. what is 3D and 5D , what is next best step.What is intuition and much more and we will learn how to use this knowledge in practical life.

Spirituality won’t take you anywhere if you don’t know how to apply these concepts in life.

True spirituality is as practical as practicality!

Alright friends, I hope that brought some clarity to your mind. If not , its fine maybe this blog is not for you.🤪

And if I resonate with you , stay updated with my posts. We will learn about many things together in the coming days.

And yes ofcourse Sai is always with you. Always and forever. Without him , me typing all this is not possible.. you reading this is not possible either.

I pray for all of us to step closer , each day towards our goal.

That is Sai’s feet for me. What is yours ?

Lots of love and light!

Om Sairam.😇