Hey beautiful souls, I pray for your well being and peace.
Have you felt like you are nothing , like you could not see the value of even an inch of your existence.
I have gone through such phases where I felt I should not live anymore.
Well, what I say next will make you feel amazed or maybe irritated too. This is the best phase where you connect to Sai with so ease like never before.
The depth and intensity ,which your “cry for help”, brings to your prayer rarely happens otherwise. Have you felt that rock bottom where you loose all hope and if you see Sai there , ohh this memory will be the go to for your whole life . Your faith in him will reach skies then.
I am not masochist or sadist ๐
I really don’t mean any hurt or judgement to your pain . It is totally valid. Your pain is valid no matter what I say or anyone else says.
By saying this, I want you to see this pain from one more perception that is “pain can be a reason to make you move towards faith”.
Do you remember the Sai Satcharitra incidence where Baba tells stories of his guru and tells this incident below . ( From Sai Satcharitra Chapter 32)
“Then he took me to a well, tied My feet with a rope and hung Me – head downwards and feet up – from a tree , near the well. I was suspended three feet above the water, which I could not reach with My hands or with my mouth. After suspending Me in this manner he went away, no one knew where. After 4 to 5 hours he returned and after taking Me out quickly, asked Me how I fared “In bliss supreme, I was.How can a fool like Me describe the joy, I experienced?” I replied. On hearing my answer, the Guru was much pleased with Me, drew Me near him and stroking my head with his hand kept Me with him! “
This scene can be interpreted in a lot of ways but the most common I have realised by Baba’s visions and dreams and heard from Sai devotees is this:
If we see on the surface , ofcourse he was in pain when he was tied upside down. Upside down here represents the drastic change in life which throws your life , your existence upside down. Your brain fogs and your body freezes.
(Just like what happens when you are tied head down and feet up .. for hours)
But inside, he felt he was in bliss.
He tried to teach us that “Bliss is a state of being” , it doesn’t depend upon outer circumstances or conditions we are in.
Also , he said he couldn’t reach water , it can mean that he was far from the troubles, which felt so real in his life. As his Guru kept him at a safe distance from water(troubles).
Imagine you are in a terrible situation and each moment you feel like you will give up and you will fall and drown.
But if Guru has allowed you to be hung like this , if the kindest soul that cares for you the most has allowed you to go through this situation then he must have made sure that you are kept safe at a certain distance from actual destruction in your life.
And if you hold on to him inside , then lastly when he will come and take you out of this , you will feel much closer to him..much more closer than you ever were.
Merging in him more and more.
He will be pleased with you and will keep you with him forever!
Well to maintain the emotional and overall tranquility in such a chaotic situation where you feel like loosing your existence is defintely not a walk on cake.
Desperation is necessary.
Its easier said than done but we try when we are desperate, desperate to feel bliss , desperate to see the sun .
I feel desperation is a good thing. Those who loose desperation loose hope too.
May Baba blesses us to be desperate enough to merge in him.
People who are desperate to get free from bondages of life and death are called mumukshu.
Now on another note, desperation comes when ego dies but there is awareness that you are not just your ego self.
In one of the serial one person said , God is the extreme opposite of ego . And when ego is zero , what is left in us is God.
Zero ego means desperation , which means we are 100% connected to God in “extreme desperation”/ 0% ego state
What feels like zero is your ego not the real you!
“We feel we are zero” this can make us feel extremely sad and disconnected also. How?
If all you have focussed on is the ego self , the zero ego will be equal to zero you, for you. And so we tend to move towards self harm and suicide.
A certain level of awareness is required before you be able to accept the zero state and still live in bliss.
This awareness shall bring into your vision what have been obscured before..”the existence of the real you” ( the highest self)
( I won’t use “divine you” phrase , as I beleive “ego you” is also a part of divine you)
(Divine you= ego you+ higher you)
Wait wait, we are not there yet and its all a hypothesis for me till I actually experience it ( After I experience it , I might not want to discuss it like this on a website hehe what an irony!)
Till then don’t worry about ego.
Its not your job to kill ego. We can not even do that.
But yes a self realised guru can.
And guess what, you have got one !
๐๐
Just handover all your worries related to spiritual transformation to Sai.
And on the other hand if you are feeling like a zero , be baba’s zero.. see how this state can bring you into bliss.
I pray that all your painful phases go smoothly so that you can still see the grace of Saibaba falling upon you.
May you feel courageous enough to see the “truth” that no outer situation can make “the real you” zero.. ever.
The process of healing will keep on going. Life will always be a contrast of dark and light as well as some twilights in between. Just focus inside and keep moving towards the center.. towards your Guru. When nothing seems alright and you feel lost , chant his name.
He will soon untie you and will make you his forever. Just hang in there!
Sai is lighting a million diyas in your life. Awareness is light only. And you won’t feel sad if you feel zero again. Infact you will feel blissful in that chaos. Yes that is his grace!
My update for next week : I have planned a Money Reiki class on 1st and 2nd March.
I am a money Reiki grandmaster. In that class I will teach as well as attune people to money reiki and also provide certificates.
You can email me if you are interested.
Will give you details of money reiki soon.
Om Sairam. ๐
SaiTruth 