Interpretation of a message is different with different minds.
Baba made me understand this by my own example.
There are different experiences with Sai I went through and I interpreted them as it pleased to me(my ego).
I remember one..
Once I was feeling jealousy for a girl and I asked to see the truth.
I always felt she gains sympathy from people.
Baba did show me a dream.. where she was asking for help from her friends.
And after this dream my belief got strengthened.
It boosted my ego.
And I took this as a confirmation sign from Sai that what I assumed about her was right.
I considered her to be ” attention seeking” and Baba clearly gave sign that she is ..so I should continue hating her.
A yogi said once “Sai increases our ego”..yes he was correct.
“Baba increases our ego to eventually make us trust him more than our ego.”
And when you trust him more than your ego self ..he will let you know “how ego was ruling over you..and its time to drop it away.”
He speaks the truth “completely” when we almost reach in his lap(move much close to him) ..as he doesn’t want us to run away already.😄
I like to imagine our journey to Saibaba as if we are going from the entrance of the “dwarkamai” to the stone on which he sits ..waiting for us.. watching us take one step at a time ..slowly.
And once we are in his lap ..he caresses us like his child and his blessing hand induces a magical transformation into us.
And this process doesn’t occur just once ..it keeps happening again and again in different aspects of our life.
(Yes we get away from him.. back to where we started by doing things we shouldn’t ..it’s like one step ahead two steps back 😅)
That’s the only way I could explain my drifts..my ups and lows in the devotion towards Baba.
You must have heard his quote..
“I GIVE MY PEOPLE WHAT THEY ASK UNTIL THEY ASK WHAT I WANT TO GIVE”.
He keeps giving us the material things..increasing our ego until we are close enough to him that we ask for spiritual upliftment.
Getting close to him seems the only way to get this INSIGHT that why we came in this world.
Back to my experience..
As years passed ..once again I was feeling alot of hatred for the same girl ..this time I slept with a heavy.. grief filled heart and a “why?” question in my mind addressed to Saibaba.
I was not happy ..feeling hatred ..it hurt me.
Baba questioned back in my sleep “what’s the big deal if they are close friends (my husband and her)..is it so wrong? “
I was shocked hearing these words ..they were as clear as someone speaking to me in my ears.
I woke up and I cried ..not because I was regretting but because now Baba seemed to be changing sides.😂
A few days passed and I wanted someone to boost my ego again by letting me know that..
“I am right.”
Baba was telling me the truth that seemed hard to swallow.. so I discarded his message thinking that “He is a sadhu ..he is all perfect ..its easy for him to not feel jealousy. But what about me?”😅
How easily I modified his message twice to suit me.
I couldn’t see.. Baba advices us the best thing.. at the exact moment when it can be comprehended well by us..as a human not as a sadhu(Saint).
I wrote about it in the post 👉 Change and Saibaba .
..how suddenly I realised that I was falling in the pit of jealosy ..backbitching and lying to myself..again and again.
And that is the day I dared to actually see the truth..
..the day I let him remove the veil of hatred off my eyes.
I got a strong feeling that if I keep up these thoughts for her or anyone else ..I will surely be doomed.
Yes ..it was just about thoughts ..I was rarely displaying hatred in my words or behaviour for her..I couldn’t.
And then ..Baba made me see .. “how beautiful that girl is”.
He supported me totally on the new path of “love for everyone around me.”
It’s like he opened up his arms.. howling in joy “welcome to my clan child..it took you soo long!”🤗
I felt,I always knew.. she was a beautiful person but my jealousy always masked it away.
But after then ..I could actually see how much she puts herself aside ..and reached out to people.
Is it so bad to ask help from people you love??
We all are doing this..and letting loved ones help us is a strength..it can’t be called “seeking sympathy”.
Baba cleared to me.. “half the things I assume about people are the projection of my own mind ..my own traits onto them.”
(You may want to Google projection-psychology defence mechanism..it will change your life literally)
I used to explain things highlighting my pain so that I can get extra concern from my people.🤭
And I did not even realise that I was doing it.
And it was ok until I knew.
But thinking others to be the same like me is definitely not required.
As it happens on a subconscious level.. we can’t even notice it..that it’s our own trait not others’.
Assumption and projection seems to be one of the powerfully devastating thing for our relations now.
We think we know “what the other person meant?” But it’s not the truth ..one person interprets things according to one’s own beliefs ..and traits.
After this “knowing”.. I was left with compassion.
The truth was bright as the sun.
She supported me even when I did not ask her for.
She helped me even when I did not showed any gratitude for her efforts.
Surprisingly she was there ..where I could not get my other friends to help me out.
When I entered my in-laws home as a newly wed , she was the one who took care of my needs and emergencies ,as there ,I couldn’t ask anyone else.
How can some person so beautiful be hated??
I wondered about my own feelings now.
Sainath made me feel..
” its ok that you had those feelings ..but now you “know”..so,forgive yourself for not understanding in past.
Forgive that feeling of jealousy ..maybe it had some deeper roots from some other lifetime.
And now focus on love.”
Forgiveness is essential at this point as it lets you not judge yourself ..so that you don’t judge people who resonate with that past trait of you.
Simply meaning if someone else still hates her ..I shouldn’t judge them either..as it’s their perception ..their decision. They did not have the experiences I had with Sai blessings…
.. even if I desperately want to show them what I felt , I can’t force my perceptions onto anyone.
It’s about “me” not others.
Judgement never changes people for good ..love does.
Now it’s totally different.. I appreciate her so much..the appreciation she deserves.
I went to a function last year ..everyone was busy in their talks ..and I was sitting alone for a while observing her ..just her..from my newly found eyes.
It was like I was seeing her from eyes of Sai ..how she moved from one place to another ..sometimes getting snacks for a friend ..or catching a kid to get her back to her mom.
Going out to bring something that was needed in that minute.
Or clicking pics of her friends.. laughing out loud.
I saw her beneath that pretty face…
And she was beautiful…❤️
My hatred melted into love.🥰
I felt like I knew her from ages and I loved her already ..more than I could imagine.
And this happens everytime I just observe someone..without developing criticism for them.
If something needed to be changed was “my eyes” as its rightly said..
“Beauty is in the eyes of beholder”.
Chashma utaro fir Dekho yaro
Dunia nayi hai ..chehra purana!
If I was not able to see a single good thing in her, it was lack of my perception ..not her personality.
I won’t deny ..I feel a little bit jealousy even now ..but its ok.
Every feeling is there for a reason ..you can find out the reason ..it will diminish.
But it won’t go away completely ..as it lets you know you are human..but if you can see beyond that feeling..you will be peaceful everywhere.
Its not love ..
when you can love someone if you have always felt just love for them.
Love is when you feel anger ..jealousy … hatred ..hurt ..everything and instead of sticking with these feelings ..you focus on love.
If you can focus your eyes on the beauty of that soul ..in place of flaws ..your tired heart will be relieved.
And it relieved me.😊
Interpretation of a message needs the eyes of the same intention with which it was told.
We can never decode a message of “pure love” correctly.. with hatred as our aim.
Similarly the messages in scriptures.. when explained by people later.. got modified and changed according to their own perceptions.
And the rituals that started with some other essence got misunderstood and carried on because of fear and misconceptions.
We will discuss more about this topic later.
Thanks to sai ..that he does give me such eyes once in a while so that I can see the beauty in each soul.💖
Thanks to him that I “know” I am a tiny sand particle comparing myself to another tiny sand particle..but he sends my ego to sleep by telling me “It doesn’t matter which one of you is superior and which is inferior as you both are under my feet.”😇
I pray Baba blesses you with peace.
If you want to read about “INSIGHT” read my Last post .
Happy Sai life to you all.