Hey friends..Om Sai Ram🙏 I pray that you stay healthy and happy under shade of Baba Sai. 🤗
Baba Sai has always made me feel that whatever experiences I have are somehow repeating from my childhood.I couldn’t notice these kind of patterns untill Baba took control over my mind.
Now I can clearly see a pattern in anything that happens with me.Finding the pattern is so important but we don’t always see life through this kind of lens of “spirituality”.
And then those experiences ..not so good incidents give us pain ..anxiety and what not.Because we can’t take a step back and see it from an unbiased mind.
Baba Sai’s words always revolve in my mind but the real meaning of those words appear before me when it’s practical time.Yess.. you heard it right.. Baba will make you feel like heaven in his devotion but then presents you with a test ..to see if you can apply his teaching in your life.
This is when you don’t have to let those emotions make you fail the test of devotion over Baba.You will fail alot untill you start to connect things at a deeper level.This deeper level is not easily accepted by all.Only people with utmost devotion and understanding about life can accept things as they are.
I find it very difficult to get up in morning and working for hours together.Though Baba Sai makes it easy..but still my mind wants “comfort”.I got such experiences in past also.But I have been reluctant towards physical hard work.I have been a student ..spending my time buried in the books ..sitting at one place whole day .Most of my day went in sleep or studying.
And when experiences related to physical work happened , I felt overwhelmed and started praying God to take this “pain” away.Work has been a kind of pain for me.hehe🤭
So, here I am again ..having the similar experience ..as Baba says..
“Experiences repeat untill you make them worth.”
It simply means if someday I was asked to go for groceries ..and I refused because I wanted to watch TV instead..this goes into dormant state untill it’s time to learn this lesson again..”to choose ‘helping my mom’ over ‘comfort’ “.And the next time this won’t come as “go and bring groceries ” it will be like “go and bring groceries on foot” .
If I find ways to avoid this time too.. it will come back with more aggression and hardship.We don’t realise this if we don’t pay attention.What baba did was ..after meditation he made me write my patterns..and I am sharing these to let you know how you can improve your life.
I was scared of physical work ..be it cooking in the kitchen or doing anything outside my home.I used to pray to avoid my internship postings.I never took it as a way to grow and learn.
I took my “not getting harsh” tendency as a weakness.People used to say “people will walk over you if you don’t say anything to them”.
They were right about that but from their perception.But my tendencies have been connected to compassion ..I couldn’t hate someone for long otherwise I would feel so terrible to make them feel terrible.
I thought I am weak because I can’t tell them how bad they are making me feel. The reality was ..Sai was always alive within me and he couldn’t let me hate or hurt someone intentionally..because each one of us has a different role to play here in this world and mine was of a “healer”.
Second one the kitchen work..well baba made me cook alot hehe during last 5 months in the peak of summer too.The phobia of sweat ..rashes ..itching and working in summer is gone.I feel free that I can do anything🤗
Rightnow.. my expereince of avoiding postings and practical work is occurring again and Baba makes me smile in pain too.
Choice is ours ..to pass a hard phase of life with smile and gratitude that it is making us stronger …or to pass the same with “blaming and complaining ” attitude.I see myself having so many thoughts …to shout at patient’s attendants or at my husband ..”to release my frustration”.But Baba made me realise “THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO BEHAVE.”
If I shout at an attendant (parents or guardian of a child) saying “I have to do work for hours and you are making me angry by your ignorance.” ..it means I am blaming him for my “bad experience of hard work”… and if I am telling him that I am unable to endure a painful phase as a growing phase ..so, it will repeat itself in my life.And then my question will be what we usually say to ourselves “asa mere sath hi kyu hota h!”🤭 (Why does it happen to me again and again?)
After realising this .. I am damn sure I don’t want this to happen again hehe.So, what I do now is chant baba’s name untill my disturbing thoughts go away. No body has to suffer because I think I am suffering. Pain is transmitted to others indirectly by us ..in a thousand ways in a single day ..and then we ask “why am I suffering?”
Believe me it’s us who let pain to others ..so again it’s only us ..to let ourselves drown in more pain. Our thoughts and actions meet a mirror and come back to us ..with interest.
Just let this thinking go away “that other people are making you suffer”.. no one can make you suffer if it’s not sai baba’s will.And he never wants you to suffer or get bitter for anything.Ask him for mercy ..ask him to make it somewhat easier ..but thank him that he is making you “grow”.
I can see clearly “why I have been a sweet talker” when I combined “talking sweetly” with “thinking sweetly” ..miracles happened.Baba Sai came out of the veil within me.The flame of oneness grew stronger and brighter.
Baba Sai is amazing and no one can make you so much sweet ..compassionate and resilient.You will find your inner nature was the best gift from him. Try to challenge your “pain” your “tiredness ” and your “tears” by saying “thank you Sai ” in the peak of them.
whats your lesson for your ongoing phase? And how are you dealing with it..let me know.😊
Don’t hate anyone because they don’t behave good with you ..everyone is an instrument ..they are subconsciously following “his commands” to make you learn.You don’t have to question “why are people so stupid or rude?” But you have to question “What is the Sai lesson behind their rudeness towards me?”
I learnt through patterns.. I suffered when I lied or bragged about something. LESSON LEARNT: JUST BE ORIGINAL ..DON’T SHOW OFF OR TRY TO IMPRESS ANYONE.IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR OR POSSESS MATERIALISTICALLY. Baba told me if you are a sweet person from inside ..you don’t need luxuries or fashionable things to get praise or appreciation from people. I learnt ..I don’t need appreciation at all.
IF YOU DO THINGS FOR APPRECIATION ..YOU ALWAYS FEEL VULNERABLE AS THEN YOUR HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON OTHERS’ RESPONSE TOWARDS YOUR ACTION.Leave this ..and you won’t feel bad if someone scolds or ignores your efforts..do what you do because YOU WANT TO DO IT..not because it will make someone else happy.
Don’t fool yourself saying “I did so much for them.” No you didn’t do anything FOR THEM ..but for yourself.It made you happy to sacrifice for them ..that’s why you did it.Set your priorities .If you love someone then don’t count your favours ..make it clear ..that you are doing things for “your happiness”..because YOU LOVE THEM.
You didn’t do anything for the person next door ..or the dog you met today on the road ..why?? Because they don’t matter to you.So, it’s always about your preferences ..your happiness..not others.
I lost relationships when I felt “my lover” is the only one for me ..he is my world ..my everything.
LESSON LEARNT: THERE IS NO ONE LIKE SAI AND I SHALL NEVER GO AWAY FROM BABA FOR ANYONE .
It’s not easy to maintain relations when they don’t approve of your devotion.I have been lucky in this.
But still there were a lot of times..that I found myself submerging in “lust” ..be it for my attachment to luxury or comfort or love from someone..Baba shook me awake and I found myself in pain..because I was addicted to someone or something..and Baba reminded me “NO ONE CAN AND WILL BE THERE FOR ME FORVER.” The only truly forever for me is SAI within me.
My sai locket will break ..the sai books will tear down .. sai photos will be lost ..my loved ones will leave me someday ..even my body won’t be there with me forever.My things that I worry so much for ..my clothes ..my large collection of artificial jewellery ..my gold ornaments or my shoes ..my watch ..my perfume ..my home ..or my parents ..my pet or my plants..the things ..the person I call “mine” will no longer be mine.
I had a strange habit ..I used to collect things so passionately and then I used to leave them without feeling too much emotional. I pasted Harry potter pictures in a diary in my 8th class.I was a big fan and I kept that diary like my treasure with me always.But the day we were moving from Jaisalmer to Jaipur ..mom showed me the same diary ..and asked “I am putting this in dump..ok?”
I took it in my hands and felt nostalgia of those memories..though I wanted to keep that but I said “ok mom ..I don’t need it anymore.”
Mom was surprised ..as she knew what kind of a “crazy fan ” I was ..she used to tease me that I will marry “Daniel radcliff” .🤭 I had this strange capacity to let people go ..though I felt hurt but I accepted the pain as a necessary part.Now, it’s clear it was Baba Sai ..this strength and this deep thinking was a part and parcel of baba’s hand over my head. I let the old things go away ..I let the old friends go away. I was happy to listen from them but I was still ok if they didn’t ever call.I was ok when someone rejected me ..after all the hurt.. Sai never let me hate them.My mind tried to ..but still Sai made me forgive.
Forgiveness is the easiest way towards “experiencing acceptance”.You can’t accept a situation completely if you are not able to “forgive”.. others or yourself.
Letting go of people or things ..is kind of detachment and it’s a good thing..if used in a sai way.
I can see how I have changed when I see people around me talking the same language of blaming and complaining ..and I can see how hurt they feel by their own actions and words.I know it’s too hard ..so it’s ok for them to be like my past version.And I pray for them to rapidly move ahead ..in spirituality .
As then only will they find the peace ..they seek in sleep ..love from someone ..money …drink ..or smoke…food or any kind of material thing.Ask me ..what I didn’t try to find peace and I found it within me ..as my Sai.
I am far away from any kind of realisation ..still drowned in the mud but still Baba Sai keeps me fresh and alive ..he says “YOU CAN’T CHANGE EVERYONE ..BUT YOU CAN BE LIKE A LOTUS ..SMILING HAPPILY AMIDST MUDDY IMPURE WATER.Sai says that muddy water is a part of me too so don’t hate ..but be strong within so that ..it doesn’t let your shine fade away.Be so strong that no negativity can make you negative towards any person or situation..you still ooze love for everything and everyone.
Don’t get influenced by the negativity but be so saifull that you win it by love…sai love.
I will write about more of my patterns and you can share yours with me.I am sorry for my grammatical mistakes.
Till then ..shake your body in Baba’s love ..😊🥰
Om sai Shri sai jai jai sai ❤️