Hey friends , I hope you are good.My life gets dull if I cease to see any message in my day to day life.I always made “symbols” representing “luck” for myself.
I remember , in my school time maybe in 5th or 6 th standard .. whenever I saw sunlight glancing through the clouds or trees making a beautiful scene like this ..I used to exclaim loudly to my friends “wow ..you know what this means .. it represents that we are gonna have a beautiful day today.”
Deep in my heart , I believed insanely that it means God’s blessings are pouring down on all his creatures rightnow. Hehe ..little did I know ..blessings pour down all the time.❤️
I don’t know how , my mind is made like that..I find messages within simple things .. maybe it’s Sai or maybe I imagine but most of the times my beliefs come true and it feels like what I felt earlier was not just some random thought ..it was a message or you can say it was an intuition.
Last week I entered the wing of my hostel and it was all dark.No one had switched on the light and it was 11 in night.My mind told me to switch on the light in my phone but again something inside me said “just walk .. you are the light.”
And I walked with a belief that I am myself the light..and when I reached another wing ..I found lights .I know it sounds crazy hehe and funny how I relate things ..but just then I heard a voice inside me saying ..”If you cross each darkness with this belief that you are the light ..you will never feel afraid ..and lastly you will find bright lights leading you to your home(room in this case).”
Yah I find analogy quite beautiful 😍 and it gives me “sai-feeling”. I call each feeling that reminds me of Sai as “sai feeling”
I have been poor at adjustments .. I have found myself clinging to my past and a deep refusal to “changes” . So, I have felt I am less of a fluid more of a solid hehe. Fluid has a tendency to flow smoothly wherever it is kept ..it just blends in and takes the shape of the container.
And this is what Baba Sai is doing to me nowadays .. making me fluid .😄 He gave me enough supports and friends but I tend to cling to them so hard that I make them my crutch.I refuse to face life alone when I have someone else with me.It doesn’t abolish the fear inside me but doubles it somehow because I don’t know how to handle situations when I am alone.. with Baba.
I was trying to intubate (bypassing the airway to increase oxygenation) a child a few days back ..I tried to look for the tracheal opening (opening of the wind pipe) but I couldn’t ..and I was afraid that the child might get killed in the process if I took more time to find the right opening. So, I called Vinayak ..my copg to help me out..and then he taught me something but still he did intubation ..I couldn’t.
But that day I was patient as I knew sai will definitely make it happen someday.And, then a baby came the very next day .. he was having respiratory distress (severe breathing difficulty) and was not at all in a good condition even after oxygenation .I prepared all the things for intubation and I was left alone .I took Sai’s name when his saturation started to drop ..as he knows I can’t intubate in a hurry ..I feel like my inefficiency will kill the child.I prayed to Baba to help me out .. though I told Vinayak about it but I did not ask for help.I looked for the tracheal opening and wow it was there .. I used the tip Vinayak gave me the last day..and yes I could easily see trachea .. and you know Baba moved his saturation from 60 to 98 hehe so that I don’t feel afraid to intubate.High Saturation means good condition of airway.
I left intubation as a saturation of 98 doesn’t require intubation.And as I was going back.. the saturation dropped again .. hehe it happened 3 times and actually I practiced 3 times to find the tracheal opening.. and lastly Sai told me in my mind “this child needs intubation..don’t go for the high saturation ..as it’s just for a minute to make you feel safe while intubating that you won’t kill that child …so go for it.”
He does everything you say ..while you do what he wants you to do.Really, I was happy that I could do what I couldn’t earlier.Sai mom is amazing.
When you find you are left behind .. or you think you are not that cool ..you are not that smart ..or maybe you find no one to help you out ..always remember you are the coolest as Baba is always here for you!
I was feeling left behind .. and I prayed to Sai ..and he shifted me to a floor where I can be left alone to practice something.I was not happy initially as I am afraid of changes ..but this change is surely to make me stronger and wiser..like all the other changes sai brought in my life.
Similarly, I feel afraid of driving even a two wheeler .I have preferred to walk on foot ..if the other option was to drive myself somewhere. But, again my husband who has been dropping me to hospital all these days went out of the city for his exam for 5 days and I was left alone.So, I drove alone and I felt I was not alone really.
My fears are so much gone in last 5-6 days ..just coz of Baba and his leela.
If it would have been the past version of mine ..I would have shouted at Baba for making me feel alone ..for getting me into such situations.But , now he has opened some closed eyes of my deeper brain that can understand the significance and beauty of each and everything that happens in my life.😇
He truly established his message of “YOU DON’T NEED A LIGHT ..AS YOU ARE THE LIGHT YOURSELF.”
Taking help from someone is good ..but don’t let it make you dependent..like me.
I know it’s hard to face something alone but you are not alone as you are Sai himself.He is in that scooty or car that you drive ..he is in that patient that you intubate ..he is in that darkness that scares you .. he is in you …and all these situations came to make you fluid … easy to mold in the way sai wants you to.
I pray for well being of all and I pray that Baba diminishes all our fears and we can be truly a light like him🤗
I will talk about the first picture and the meaning behind it in the next post.😋
Keep smiling and loving yourself.
Always remember… you are enough!!🤗
Om Sairam 🙏😇