When was the last time you talked to your mom ? Hey guys it’s been quite a while for me .As I am staying at hostel away from my in laws home , my own home . Initially , I did not find time even to sleep enough to feel fresh . But now it’s different.🤔
Something inside me has changed.I find time but I don’t feel like talking to anyone . It’s like , I can’t explain what it is ! Maybe , I am tired staying away ,and when my emotions get so heavy on me , I use to run away from them.And this is what I do to avoid facing them daily .
I could control these reflexes earlier but now I keep myself busy so there is lesser time to reflect and think where I’m going wrong .So, it’s what I am doing.🙄
Life is unpredictable
I can’t imagine something bad happening to my loved ones.Just the thought of it makes my soul tremble . Though I had so many complaints for my mom , some past experiences were really harsh . Still, I find myself most attached to her. After all , mom is mom!
I miss her , I really wanna lie in her lap or maybe nearby her , if she would let me.She likes to sleep alone .😅
Feeling of staying in the same home would be enough ..maybe! It’s been almost 10 months or so that I met her last.
Sai always guides us
The covid leave I had , I was ok after a few days , and had few more days left!
Sai put an idea of going home , in my mind. But it seemed uncomfortable as I had to find time to make audit too.
But Sai doesn’t only try , he pushes us to do what is best for us. He sent my friend to me , she said “you should go home boss ! You have got enough time .and don’t worry about audit , you can make it there too.And we are here to help you.”
Again , I rejected this idea. I slept and the same night Sai blessed me with an idea. He showed me a dream where he properly guided me to go home and stay there for two days , then next two days at in laws . I woke up and told this enthusiastically to my husband.
But he rejected this idea, as he came covid positive , but he allowed me to go. But,I lost my interest. As going alone somewhere is equal to a battle in this lock down. And I had to go to another state!
Don’t wish on something when you feel bad because of someone!
As I had already mentioned , I have been hurt alot of times by my mom. She did not support my singing, drawing or anything else than studying . She also had different ideas about “having friends of opposite sex” . And many more things. Alot of issues have been resolved as I’m married now. But it hurt alot in those moments.
So, I wished alot of times ..not just once! “Sai I don’t wanna live here ..and I don’t want to come back once I go. I don’t want to come back to my home as this least feels like home.”
And my tears were really deep during those prayers .
So , maybe Sai blessed with a “tathastu” Rest Sai only knows what it is for.
Though , all her warnings , her anger proved beneficial to me somehow. And I know it’s not her fault , it’s some rinanubandh (debt of relations/connections from prev. births) that made me suffer. So, blaming her is not the solution.
Sai takes care of her
Sai is here , so I’m relaxed about her.(I worry alot about her health) He had made her stay comfortable. She did not like to stay with my brother , as she is really quick judging and this made arguments happening daily in between her and my brother’s wife ,my bhabhi. And I’m happy they are not staying together anymore, as peace should be our priority .What use of such a relation that you two can’t stay happy. So, it’s better to stay away in such a situation.
When I talk on phone , she tells me how Baba made her remember where she kept her things, that she keeps forgetting all the time. She is facing issues with memory maybe coz of this age. Sai vanishes away her pain , literally, when she needs help in household work. She has suffered alot of small accidents , she has cervical spondylolysis , varicose veins in her legs , she is hypertensive and suffer from anxiety too. (Maybe my anxiety attacks are a hereditary thing 😅) .
I just wish that Sai provides her better thinking so that she can stay happy anywhere and everywhere. Still I love her alot and believe that one day she would be so good and kind .
Baba also told me how my mom is in darkness and only “sai’s name” can save her , coz he is the only one who understands her completely and is ready to face her anger .😅
She is kind but in a different way!
She is kind too , she helps people . She is so bold that she can challenge anyone hehe ..anyone doing wrong to someone. If someone would be fighting in middle of a road ,she would jump in to make peace. I mean , I think this is her coolest thing ..that I always loved . Because I don’t think I have such guts .
Talk to your mom daily!
I wrote this post , as Sai is indicating me to talk to my mom daily.I came across a message yesterday..
“You should talk to your mom daily. You will have a happy life.Her blessings are always with you”
A few minutes later, I forgot it , and today also ,I just watched a movie randomly and it was about “mom-in-law”. Sai I know you want me to stay connected to both my moms . But , I’m too lazy to do that.
Still, I believe he will make me do this ,if he really wants me to do that.
That I don’t know.. but he will !
So, I’m the last person to tell you this ..”talk to your mom daily!”
But hey it’s not me ..it’s sai’s message. 😋
Hey dearies the meditation post needs more time to get ready to appear in front of you. If you don’t know which post I’m taking about just have a look 👉 Let’s meditate ,let’s love sai!
If you like to watch short movies, like me, then you can watch this 👉 Soul mother
Your mom no matter how she is , loves you alot , I hope you remember that!
And doesn’t matter how much we take care of our parents , we can’t return back even the half of their love for us.
Ok these words convinced me ..hehe going to call my mom now !
Take care dearies 🥰
Stay tuned for the next post .
Stay safe, stay healthy.
Om Sairam ❤️